“Diana” was 17 and in high school. She thought she may have been pregnant, but just to make absolutely sure, she went to Planned Parenthood to find out. She felt like the walls were closing in on her. She sat in the examination room and heard the words she did not want to hear: “Yes, you are pregnant”. “Diana” wanted to cry. The look on her face said exactly that. The nurse said, “you know, you can have an abortion.” “Diana” thought immediately, “well that would solve my problem”.
Just last year I found out there are scores of crisis pregnancy centers within driving distance of my home. Until then, I’m not sure I ever heard of a “crisis pregnancy center“. If I did – I had no idea what they did or why someone would go there. I had no idea HOW MUCH HELP is out there.
I was 39 years old when I started to realize the abundant numbers of organizations that have the resources – financial, emotional and anything else a pregnant woman needs.
Then I thought, if I don’t know places like these exist – then many women don’t know they exist.
I don’t know YOUR situation. I have not walked a mile or even a city block in your shoes. But I do know there is help – and I want to let you know that
there are people out there that will:
help you parent,
help you think about and consider an open adoption plan
help you out of an abusive relationship
give you help anonymously
help you finish school
help you get a job
help you with an addiction
If you are pregnant, and your parents want you to have an abortion . . .
Voice your opinion to someone you can trust. A guidance counselor might be a good start. Calling one of these organizations and tell them the situation you are facing. Most likely, if you give your parents time, they will be happy you were extremely vocal. BUT, they need time.
That is the tricky part. They need time to feel every emotion – anger, sadness, fear – so in the mean time, make a phone call. Project Cuddle allows you to be anonymous and is national. Guiding Star is a home in the Philadelphia area that provides so much support it blows me away. This organization will help you get on your feet – without any government assistance. Absolutely amazing. Here is another list of resources: Pro-Life Union.
Call these organizations and “buy time”. Your parents will eventually come around. Don’t give up praying. Don’t give up hoping. And remember – it does matter that you are the one that is pregnant. Not your mom, or your dad, or your guardian.
But . . . you are right. I don’t know what YOU are going through. Perhaps you are pregnant, and your parents don’t know – and you want to keep it that way . . .
Again, call Project Cuddle. They offer anonymous help. You don’t have to tell them your name.
Remember Diana from the beginning of the article? She didn’t want to tell her parents either. She was scared. She didn’t want to disappoint them. She didn’t want them to become so angry they became violent. She didn’t want them to hate her boyfriend.
Since I don’t know what thoughts, fears and feelings you have going on – the best advice I can give you is to call one of these numbers and talk it out.
The people answering these phones have helped so many girls in situations like yours – and in situations that are completely unlike yours. I would say call. You can always hang up.
Maybe you are way beyond “what your parents think” years. Maybe your boyfriend says he’s not ready.
And you love him. And you don’t want to break up.
I know I’m a total stranger here – but I can tell you, the abortion is not going to strengthen the relationship. I have a feeling many women can vouch for that statement. I hope those women comment under this article. I’m asking you to trust me on this one. You standing your ground on this issue will only empower you. It will not make or break your relationship. You can do this.
Maybe you’re not with the father anymore . . .
Maybe the father is married . . .
Maybe you were raped (and that is not fair or right at all) It’s not fair. It’s not fair to you. It’s not fair to the baby.
Maybe I didn’t say any circumstance that you can relate too.
All I can do is ask you to call some numbers and ask for what other options are out there if you choose not to have an abortion. Many of these crisis pregnancy centers stay open because everyone who works there is a volunteer. They are not getting paid. The same can not be said by those working at planned parenthood – or any other clinic or hospital that provides abortions.
I beg you to seek life for your child. Consider parenting. Consider an adoption plan.
The best thing about an adoption plan – is that’s what it is – a plan. Plans can change. An adoption plan does not become a permanent decision until after the baby is born and you sign the papers. That gives you more time to think about it.
Abortions are not as flexible. When it’s done, the baby is gone. The memory will not disappear.
Don’t worry that your baby might be sick.* Don’t worry what anyone else will say or think. Don’t worry that your life will change drastically.
You are a strong, beautiful woman.
Your baby – whether you are two days pregnant, two months or twenty weeks – is beautiful.
Just like you.
Stay strong. Stay brave.
May the Lord give you what you desire the most.
Love, hugs and prayers,
p.s.”Diana” didn’t have the abortion.
*If your baby is sick (if your doctor is recommending “interrupting” the pregnancy, or suggesting termination) there are organizations that can provide you loving help. Check out Be Not Afraid and Lily’s Gift)
Need help until the baby is 3 years old? Not sure what to do? Call this Woman’s Center
If you are considering adoption – that is very brave! I have another post for you! From My Heart: The 10 things I want all women considering adoption to hear . . .