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Mar 27, 2017
Faith

From Cross to Blessing: 3 Hardships that Actually Make Life Better

crosstoblessinglifegetsbetter

Have you ever gone through a time in your life where you just wished you could see how it all worked out in the future?
Often when we struggle, we hear people say, “Everything happens for a reason.”

I have refrained from punching those people many times.

You?

There were times in my life where I wished I could fast-forward, or at least look into a magic mirror and see how it all panned out.

I wonder if that is why some say with age comes wisdom.  We are not able to look ahead, but we are able to look back.  As I look back, I see the fruit the struggles bore . . . and I see how some crosses were actually blessings.

If you know of anyone carrying similar crosses now, please share my story with them and give them a glimpse of what the future might look like . . . I know when I was going through it, stories of hope found in  Chicken Soup for the Soul – or anywhere else I could find them, helped me keep the faith and dream of better days.

crosstoblessing.jpg

This weekend I told a priest that my cross of infertility was actually a blessing, because it brought us our son.  He responded that all our crosses are blessings, it’s just sometime we can actually see the blessing.

Hmmmm . . .

I know some crosses seem to have no silver lining, but I can recall some major challenges that brought me tears and many prayers of “why?” to God.  Probably the first heavy cross I remember carrying started in elementary school and lasted until I was almost 16.  That one was . . .

Being a nerd.

I remember being lonely.  I was often rejected.  I was made fun of.  I was not cool.

I was not pretty.  I was not talented.

It hurt.  It lasted years. I eventually tried to fit in by cursing like a sailor, smoking an occasional cigarette and eventually acting angry all the time.  I think as a young teen, anger demanded more respect than crying all the time.

But thankfully, a thought entered my mind around the age of 15.  That thought was, when things upset you – you can choose to be angry or sad.  Angry people hurt people.

I didn’t want to hurt anyone.  I knew what it was like to be hurt.

Being a nerd taught me empathy.

I became extremely sensitive to those who did not fit in with the crowd.  I found myself defending others.  Sometimes, I found myself not defending others – and my conscience knew to point those time out to me.  I found myself no longer being the extremely shy girl I once was . . . to the girl that offered her friendship and attention.

I wish I could talk to every young girl going through something similar now.  I would assure them that God has a mission for them – to love the unloved; and this is His training.  This reference may be lost on some readers, but I can’t help but think of the movie the Karate Kid.  “Daniel son” was told to wash cars and paint a fence – and all he wanted to do was learn Karate.  He respected Mr. Miyagi – the teacher – but questioned, “when will I learn Karate?”  He then was shown how he was learning Karate . . . “wax on, wax off” and “paint the fence” were actually Karate moves of defense.

karate.jpg

Being a nerd helped me develop a strong character.  I learned to act out of sympathy and love – and not out of a need for the approval of others.

Being Single and Depressed.

In my 20’s I lived in at least 5 apartments.  I had roommates that moved in and out .. . and most of them moved out because they got engaged and married.  I ended up living alone for a little while.  I remember how depressing it was to eat dinner alone.  I remember wondering if anything happened to me . . . how many days would it take friends or family to even notice.  As I write this I can’t believe how sad I was . . . thank God that time has passed.

It was during the time I lived in my own apartment that I started prayer journaling and a group of us started praying the Rosary together.

Those times when I felt like I had no one – I clung to the One who loves me more than I can imagine, and who is truly always with us.


In that prayer journal that I started in this time of my life . . . I wrote an idea for a book for young girls (inspired by my previous cross).  I titled the book, “Be Yourself: A Journal for Young Girls”. Although the title is slightly different, that book has been written, a contract with a publisher has been signed, and pre-sales begin April 17th!!!

Not only did grow closer to Our Lord by using a journal to help me pray; this time period allowed me to make friends that I still pray with and care for.  And in addition to those amazing blessings, I wrote a book!

If you are interested in purchasing this book and what to know when it is available; subscribe to our email list!!!

Infertility

I wrote about this cross being a blessing here: Infertility: Carrying the Cross with Hope.

Before I became a mother, I talked to a woman named Jeanne who adopted all three of her children on the phone about adoption.  Jeanne assured me that she

Thanks God for infertility at least 3 times a day.

I never forgot those words.

My husband and I love our son more than we could imagine loving anyone – ever.  He is such a gift to us from God.  We are so grateful that we are his parents.  Adoption made me a very lucky momma!

I hope that whatever cross you are bearing passes soon.  Until then, remember . . .

Don’t punch the “everything happens for a reason” people in the face.

Sincerely,

Amy



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Reader Interactions

Comments

  1. Kristi @ Hail Marry says

    March 27, 2017 at 1:01 pm

    Amy, what a fantastic post! I love the optimism you display here. Congratulations on your book! It sounds wonderful!

    • Amy says

      March 27, 2017 at 3:14 pm

      Thank you Kristi!!!

  2. LaNeshe says

    March 27, 2017 at 1:04 pm

    So, so, true. We don’t always realize it at the time, but there are often blessings whose root are in hard times. That’s the thing about faith. I don’t know why we had the pregnancy losses before having my daughter, but I know that she is perfect and meant for us.

    • Amy says

      March 27, 2017 at 3:15 pm

      I am sorry you experienced those losses. I imagine your love and appreciation for your daughter is much like ours for our son <3

  3. Anni says

    March 27, 2017 at 3:54 pm

    I am one of those “everything happens for a reason” people, and I own it! That said, I try very hard to not say it to others because I know it makes some people bristle.

    But, your story is proof there is a silver lining, and sometimes we do have to dig deep to find it. When I look back on my life experiences, it’s so easy to see how God’s hand was playing, and there was a reason for my struggles. But, there is the saying “hindsight is 20/20” for a reason.

    Awesome reminder to turn to God as your source of comfort and encouragement. Thanks!

    • Amy says

      March 27, 2017 at 5:53 pm

      Thank you so much Anni!!!

  4. Sara @ To Jesus Sincerely says

    March 27, 2017 at 5:26 pm

    I love the way you saw joy in all these sorrows. The beautiful thing is, as I read these, even though they don’t perfectly describe me, I was able to see myself in them. And I was able to draw the parallels and find the blessings in my own hardships. Thanks for this awesome read today!

    • Amy says

      March 27, 2017 at 5:53 pm

      Thank you Sara! I am so happy you enjoyed reading it!

  5. Katina says

    March 28, 2017 at 8:20 am

    Very inspiring to have overcome these things.

    • Amy says

      March 28, 2017 at 9:26 am

      Thanks Katina!

  6. Kate says

    March 28, 2017 at 10:50 am

    This is such a beautiful perspective. A priest actually just brought up the joy of the cross in the confessional on Saturday, so it is a blessing to see tangible examples of that in your post. Thank you for sharing!

    • Amy says

      March 28, 2017 at 3:08 pm

      Wow . . . how about that? God’s timing can be pretty amazing!!!

  7. Jean Schoonover-Egolf says

    March 28, 2017 at 2:57 pm

    I can’t wait to buy your prayer journals from my girls, and I have already told a couple other families who were looking for prayer journal recommendations about it! Great post, Amy.

    • Amy says

      March 28, 2017 at 3:08 pm

      Thank you so much Jean!!!

  8. Leslie says

    March 28, 2017 at 5:19 pm

    I think this is an inspiring and well-written post, and I do believe we can reap blessings from our crosses, but I don’t believe everything happens for a reason. 🙂 I believe that God helps us to find the blessings in our crosses, but the crosses themselves often are just a sad result of our fallen world. An example: no doubt we have experienced many blessings after our house burning down, but I just don’t believe God decided to burn down my house on purpose. I won’t punch you (or anyone) in the face if you disagree though.

    • Amy says

      March 29, 2017 at 8:35 am

      I understand what you are saying . . . that’s why I have to refrain from punching people sometimes lol!

  9. Trina says

    March 29, 2017 at 6:30 am

    Congrats on the book!!! So exciting for you! All those years of hardship has made you into the person you are today. I truly believe we are placed on this earth for a reason and I can’t wait to see how you will help others in so many ways to become the person they want to be.

    • Amy says

      March 29, 2017 at 10:21 am

      Thank you so much Trina!

  10. Amy says

    May 15, 2017 at 9:04 pm

    Thank you so much Allison! I’m so glad you enjoyed this post and love hearing how grateful you are for your children, including your daughter!!

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Matt and I watched Nefarious last night. And when Matt and I watched Nefarious last night.
And when it was over we sat in silence for a noticeable amount of time.

If you are unfamiliar with the movie, it’s a fictitious story but at least one Catholic exorcist has stated that is really does depict the intelligence of demons and the way a person can become possessed. 

The same exorcist said the other recently released movie, The Pope’s Exorcist, is NOT a good or true portrayal of demonic possession.

Friends, we need the Sacraments.
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