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From Cross to Blessing: 3 Hardships that Actually Make Life Better

Amy — Mon, 27 Mar 2017 16:34:58 +0000

Have you ever gone through a time in your life where you just wished you could see how it all worked out in the future?
Often when we struggle, we hear people say, “Everything happens for a reason.”

I have refrained from punching those people many times.

You?

There were times in my life where I wished I could fast-forward, or at least look into a magic mirror and see how it all panned out.

I wonder if that is why some say with age comes wisdom. We are not able to look ahead, but we are able to look back. As I look back, I see the fruit the struggles bore . . . and I see how some crosses were actually blessings.

If you know of anyone carrying similar crosses now, please share my story with them and give them a glimpse of what the future might look like . . . I know when I was going through it, stories of hope found in Chicken Soup for the Soul – or anywhere else I could find them, helped me keep the faith and dream of better days.

This weekend I told a priest that my cross of infertility was actually a blessing, because it brought us our son. He responded that all our crosses are blessings, it’s just sometime we can actually see the blessing.

Hmmmm . . .

I know some crosses seem to have no silver lining, but I can recall some major challenges that brought me tears and many prayers of “why?” to God. Probably the first heavy cross I remember carrying started in elementary school and lasted until I was almost 16. That one was . . .

Being a nerd.

I remember being lonely. I was often rejected. I was made fun of. I was not cool.

I was not pretty. I was not talented.

It hurt. It lasted years. I eventually tried to fit in by cursing like a sailor, smoking an occasional cigarette and eventually acting angry all the time. I think as a young teen, anger demanded more respect than crying all the time.

But thankfully, a thought entered my mind around the age of 15. That thought was, when things upset you – you can choose to be angry or sad. Angry people hurt people.

I didn’t want to hurt anyone. I knew what it was like to be hurt.

Being a nerd taught me empathy.

I became extremely sensitive to those who did not fit in with the crowd. I found myself defending others. Sometimes, I found myself not defending others – and my conscience knew to point those time out to me. I found myself no longer being the extremely shy girl I once was . . . to the girl that offered her friendship and attention.

I wish I could talk to every young girl going through something similar now. I would assure them that God has a mission for them – to love the unloved; and this is His training. This reference may be lost on some readers, but I can’t help but think of the movie the Karate Kid. “Daniel son” was told to wash cars and paint a fence – and all he wanted to do was learn Karate. He respected Mr. Miyagi – the teacher – but questioned, “when will I learn Karate?” He then was shown how he was learning Karate . . . “wax on, wax off” and “paint the fence” were actually Karate moves of defense.

Being a nerd helped me develop a strong character. I learned to act out of sympathy and love – and not out of a need for the approval of others.

Being Single and Depressed.

In my 20’s I lived in at least 5 apartments. I had roommates that moved in and out .. . and most of them moved out because they got engaged and married. I ended up living alone for a little while. I remember how depressing it was to eat dinner alone. I remember wondering if anything happened to me . . . how many days would it take friends or family to even notice. As I write this I can’t believe how sad I was . . . thank God that time has passed.

It was during the time I lived in my own apartment that I started prayer journaling and a group of us started praying the Rosary together.

Those times when I felt like I had no one – I clung to the One who loves me more than I can imagine, and who is truly always with us.

In that prayer journal that I started in this time of my life . . . I wrote an idea for a book for young girls (inspired by my previous cross). I titled the book, “Be Yourself: A Journal for Young Girls”. Although the title is slightly different, that book has been written, a contract with a publisher has been signed, and pre-sales begin April 17th!!!

Not only did grow closer to Our Lord by using a journal to help me pray; this time period allowed me to make friends that I still pray with and care for. And in addition to those amazing blessings, I wrote a book!

If you are interested in purchasing this book and what to know when it is available; subscribe to our email list!!!

Infertility

I wrote about this cross being a blessing here: Infertility: Carrying the Cross with Hope.

Before I became a mother, I talked to a woman named Jeanne who adopted all three of her children on the phone about adoption. Jeanne assured me that she

Thanks God for infertility at least 3 times a day.

I never forgot those words.

My husband and I love our son more than we could imagine loving anyone – ever. He is such a gift to us from God. We are so grateful that we are his parents. Adoption made me a very lucky momma!

I hope that whatever cross you are bearing passes soon. Until then, remember . . .

Don’t punch the “everything happens for a reason” people in the face.

Sincerely,

Amy

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A Valentine Post for Those Who Are Single and Not Loving It

Amy — Fri, 12 Feb 2016 13:15:54 +0000

I’ve been there. It sucks. And it doesn’t just suck on Valentine’s Day.

Although my story is not your story, my once sad and lonely heart remembers and feels compelled to tell you – DON’T GIVE UP.

KEEP PRAYING.

KEEP DAYDREAMING.

KEEP “PUTTING YOURSELF OUT THERE”.

There was a period of time in my twenties that I lived in five different apartments. My roommates kept getting married. I finally moved into my own place. It was there that I reached such a low that I finally swallowed my pride and went to counseling. After my therapist recommended I take an anti-depressant about ten times, I swallowed my pride again and agreed. I had been so depressed that I wrote in my prayer journal one night “I want to die. I want my work on earth here to be finished.”

But that apartment is also where “prayer, wine, chocolate” was born. It was that period of my life that God brought me three girlfriends going through their own rough times that we came together and started praying the rosary. That apartment is also where I lived when I went on my first date with Matt, who is now my husband.

The truth is and was: God is in control. God LOVES you. God our Father hears your prayers. Just like the grape vine has to struggle to produce the best grape – and ultimately the finest wine, the Lord is with you and molding you into the finest soul your future spouse could ever marry.

KEEP PRAYING.

KEEP DAYDREAMING.

KEEP “PUTTING YOURSELF OUT THERE”.

Besides going to counseling and taking that antidepressant, there are things I did that helped me on the way. There are other things I wish I did, that I would like to share with you too. Some may make you laugh at me and shake your head. That’s fine. Sometimes I’m ridiculous. Sometimes me being ridiculous led to good things

What I did that helped me on my journey from single to married:

I kept a prayer journal. Writing down my prayers helped me communicate my feelings to Jesus. Helped me think about what my heart truly desired. I also wrote to saints asking them to pray for me. I really feel like writing out my feelings is a type of therapy. I used an old fashioned notebook.

I signed up for online dating. Since my faith is the most important aspect of my life, I did CatholicSingleMingle.com and I think CatholicSingles.com. I don’t know if either of these still exist. I did meet a couple guys that were really awesome. One I dated for 6 months. I’m glad I did it. Recently my husband and I met a couple who met on match.com (they’re married now). They are very faithful Catholics and really fun! Another website I’ve heard of is “plenty of fish”. If your faith is extremely important to you, communicate that on your profile. Give it a shot . . . you never know.

I bought a book titled, “How to Make Someone Fall In Love with You”. This is the part where I expect you to be shaking your head and saying, “that’s ridiculous”. At first it was silly. I was head over heels for a guy I worked with, and he was only somewhat interested. I thought, let me try this book. Ha! Well, that book suggested I write down every characteristic I had hoped my future spouse would possess. It guided me with questions – many I would not have thought of on my own. I still have that description – and Matt fits 90% of it! I tried finding this book on Amazon, and actually found several with that title. If you want to check them out, here they are: How to Make Anyone Fall in Love with You, How to Make Someone Fall in Love with You and How To Make Someone Fall in Love with You.

I continued making new friends. As many of my old friends left the single life, I found myself meeting other people who were either still single, going through a divorce or divorced. These friends are now also “old” friends. It was great having people to go out with after work and have “girls’ nights” with. The rosary group started with one friend I had known for awhile, and two new friends. These relationships helped me make the decision to go to therapy, gave me great times that our now great memories, and created a prayer group that still exists today.

What I wish I did:

The therapist I went to encouraged me to join something called the “Sierra Club”. She told me they did things like hiking. I scoffed at the idea. Do you know how much I want to go hiking now? My husband is afraid of heights (something I did not learn until we were married). I fear going on a hike with him, because what if he starts out fine and then we’re up on a cliff and he starts experiencing vertigo? That would not be good. I should of went hiking! Maybe I would have made some friends that I would still go on a hike with once in a while! Remember, you and your future spouse are not going to sit around and stare at each other for fifty years. Do things you find fun!

Travel. My sister is in her 30’s and is single. She’s been to Europe at least three times. She goes on ski trips, mission trips, and “I just want to go” trips. My friends went to Ireland when I was single. I just thought, “I don’t have the money”. I had a credit card. I could of gone. Go.

Again, DON’T GIVE UP. DON’T LOOK BACK. GOD WANTS YOU TO LOOK AHEAD, AND LOOK AHEAD WITH HOPE! KEEP PRAYING FOR WHATEVER OR WHOEVER YOUR HEART DESIRES!

If you want me to pray for you specifically, I will! Just say the word! Sending you love, hug and prayers! <3 Amy

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