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“They are all confused”.

This was what a former student of mine, who now teaches middle school, said to me recently about her students.

It is completely normal for a child going through adolescence to be confused about who they are.

It was confusing in the 1980’s and 1990’s- I vividly remember that.

It seems like the confusion has accelerated immensely in recent years.

My former student agrees.

We want our daughters to be comfortable and confident to just be themselves . . . but:

We can’t tell a 12 year old girl to “just be yourself” and walk away.

Most 12 year-olds are wondering who they are!

We can help them to discover her identity in Christ.

How?

By answering these questions – even if we haven’t heard our children ask them out loud.

Question: Is my gender a mistake?

Answer: No. God made you on purpose, with a purpose and nothing that God has ever created was, is or will be a mistake.

“One has to be content with what has been assigned him by heaven” (Jn. 3:27)*

Remind and reassure your daughter that she was created out of pure love by God the Father.

God gave her a specific body and that body is . . .

“a window into the depth of the person who is inescapably male or female. We can think of the body as a compass which points us toward love—both the love which is our origin and the love which fulfills us. After all, “it is not good for the man to be alone”

(Gen. 2:18): (from Focus article on the Catholic Church and gender)

Tell her she is unique and unrepeatable.

Assure her that God has a plan and mission for her. We need to tell her that she should pray often; giving thanks to Our Lord and asking the Holy Spirit for guidance.

Question: Do my actions really matter? How important is it for me to obey the Commandments and go to Mass?

Answer: Little acts of faith done are really important.

“If we are faithful in little, we will obtain grace for the big.“

Saint Katharine Drexel

We need to stress how important little acts of faith are in our daily lives.

I am a firm believer that every young person should watch the original Karate Kid movie.

When Daniel finally confronts Mr. Miyagi about painting the fence, sanding the floor, waxing the cars, and all the other chores he felt were “pointless” he quickly realizes that those acts were not in vain.

Daniel was being trained to defend himself physically.

Our little acts of faith allow our soul to be trained.

God does not want to cause stress in our lives.

God wants us to be faithful in the little so we will have grace for the big stuff.

Our Lord wants us to help one person at a time, and start with the person closest to us.

God wants us to enjoy His creation and smile at others. He desires our hearts and our trust.

Question: Did God give me any talents? OR Why would God give me this talent?

Answer: Yes, God gives everyone special talents. God gives us talents so that we can grow to closer to Him and serve others.

“So let your light shine before your fellow men . . .”

It is totally fine if you don’t yet know what talents He has given you.

It is totally fine if you can’t imagine how your talent could help another person. One day it will be revealed to you… until then, work honestly and diligently.

Question: Why can’t I be friends with so and so – God says to love everyone!!!

Answer: It’s okay to not be friends with everyone. In fact, you are not meant to be friends with all of your peers.

“Love everyone with a strenuous love based on charity, but form friendships only with those who can share virtuous things with you.”

– St. Francis de Sales

God doesn’t want you to be friends with everyone.

Yes, you are to love others. Yes, you are to show kindness and compassion. But friendship is a special gift for a few people.

Do not let popularity become a god.

Many teens make being liked or popular such a priority that God’s voice becomes distant and difficult to hear.

We need to stress the need to stay close to Him and make His will their top priority.

Get a copy of Be Yourself: a Journal for Catholic Girls here.

Question: How do I love myself?

Answer: Take care of yourself. Care for both your body and your soul.

Self-care and self-love includes taking care of your soul.

“You have a soul, be careful with it.”

-Chris Pratt, actor

Discuss Spiritual health.

We often speak about what is good for the body (veggies) and not good (junk food, drugs, etc.)

We should not forget to tell our children that sin is bad for them!

We need to teach them that it is critical for them to avoid sin. If she does not know if something is a sin or not… she should ask you! And chances are if she “doesn’t know” it’s probably not the best choice.
Our souls need to be cared for just like our bodies.

Want more advice like this? I recommend reading “How To Talk To Your Tween (or Teen) About Sex”

What would you add? How can we help young girls “Be who God meant them to be and set the world ablaze “!?

If you want your daughter to grow in her relationship with God and get to know herself while having fun, I recommend giving her a copy of Be Yourself: a Journal for Catholic Girls!

Want to know when more resources, books, lesson plans and Bible studies become available? Sign up for the Prayer Wine Chocolate Newsletter today!

*Found this in an incredible book given to me recently: My Other Self – the copy I have was published in the 1950’s, but it was recently re-published and is great for reminding us as adults who God has called us to be and how God is calling us to think and live.

The post Your Catholic Daughter Has Questions; Here are the Answers appeared first on Prayer Wine Chocolate.

My little boy needs fine-motor skills practice.

I would love to someday be able to sit down with him and say “lets journal together” . . . and then have 15 minutes where we sit together and write in our prayer journal. I don’t know if that will ever happen . . . but we have been working on a “pre-school prayer journal” for over a week now – and it is going great!

My son asks if we can “do a project”almost daily now!

I got him to color all the fruits of the Holy Spirit today!  This is a big deal in this house since our little boy is not a huge fan of coloring!

Working on his prayer journal has become some nice one-on-one bonding time, much needed fine motor skill practice and has provided some teachable moments and faith-centered discussions!

(For example, when he was coloring “patience” and he had to be reminded to be patient!)

Here are some ideas for “Pre-school Prayer Journaling”

1. Order a Primary journal composition book.

This book provides a space to draw, paint or glue pictures and lines for your preschooler to practice writing.

2. Use Pinterest!

I have no background in early education (former high school teacher here)!  So, since my son is in desperate need of fine motor skills, I went to Pinterest for some ideas – you can follow my Preschool board here: Pre-school Activities.  My son has no interest or love for coloring – but he loves using Q-tips, taping and cutting!  So we cut out a cross and glued it to his prayer journal.  He likes to write words if I provide dots for him to trace, so under the cross we wrote, “I love you Jesus, Love Xavier”.

This coloring page is free (along with a page for each letter of the alphabet) when you subscribe to Do Small things with Love!

3. Dot Painting!

I finally found a Pinterest activity I can use my wine corks for! We found some free printables for practice – and  Xavier LOVES this activity!  He has asked to do it again already!  I love how the wine cork is small, so therefore encourages the “pincer grasp”.  We are still working on this skill – so finding an activity that he enjoys is such a gift!

4. Pick a Prayer Card!

SaongJai, one of my favorite Etsy shops, sells prayer cardsets for children!  They are adorable and once you purchase them you can print them out right away.  I loved giving Xavier the choice of which Saint he wanted to cut out and glue to his journal.  He picked out Saint Margaret and I have to admit – I had to look her up!  Once I did, I discovered that she spread the devotion to the Sacred Heart of Jesus.  Xavier traced Saint Margaret pray for us and he put heart stickers around her prayer card.

*** You can enter win an entire package from SaongJai by subscribing to prayerwinechocolate.com and sharing this post!  See more details below!

5. Practice writing with Catholic Pre-school Printables

Once again, SaongJai provides an excellent tool in teaching both how to write letters and numbers, while at the same time discussing our faith.  I love how the set uses Saint Anne for the letter A.  Xavier loves his “Gram” so it was easy to teach him “Who is Saint Anne?” Jesus’ Gram!!! SaongJai also has Alphabet flash cards that would fit in the journal – or could be laminated and used for all sorts of learning activities!

*** You can enter win an entire package from SaongJai by subscribing to prayerwinechocolate.com and sharing this post!  See more details below!

6. Color and Cut

You can find plenty of coloring pages online with Catholic and Christian themes. I found a cute “Fruits of the Spirit” packet where you can color all the fruits together (which we did) and also each fruit has it’s own half page where you can trace how to write each “fruit” (patience, love, gentleness, etc).  We plan on using more of this packet to practice drawing fruits this week!

7. Use what you have and be creative!

We had a play-doh activity book that included a scene of a road and stickers.  We glued the scene to our page and wrote “Lead me Lord” under the picture.  Then Xavier picked out stickers to put on the road and in the sky. We have some prayer books, so one activity I may try this week will use one of those.  Perhaps I will read him a prayer or short story and ask him to draw a picture.

Have a tween or teen daughter?  Get her the Be Yourself Journal!

Here’s a peak inside at some pages!

The post 7 Ways to Start a Pre-School Prayer Journal appeared first on Prayer Wine Chocolate.