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Earlier this month, I shared an article on Facebook titled, “Why 7th Grade Sucks the Most for Tweens and Their Parents”

It was shared 38 times from my page alone.

The article, published by the website parentingteensandtweens.com, states facts about how the brains of 7th graders are still developing and children around the age of 12 and 13 can not plan or manage their impulses like an adult yet.  Then, it states this:

Worse, seventh grade is when so many kids start losing their identity to fit in with their peer group.  At a time when girls are feeling most awkward with growing breasts, braces and growth spurts, . . . all they want to do is blend in with everyone else. “

The “Middle School Years” or tweens were such a difficult time for me that I was compelled to write the Be Yourself Journal.

When I was struggling through those years I really believed I was odd and that not many people understood how I felt.

Years later, I realize this is how many feel during that stage of life.

The truth is, it’s a hard age!

Even Jesus clashed with His parents when he was 12!!!

(The Scripture Passage that is Perfect for Moms of Teens (and Tweens) )

Those years are even more challenging today.

Social media provides no escape.  If they are on social media, they are stressed.  If they are not on it they feel stressed because “everybody else is”.

I know we don’t want more stuff in our homes, but I also remember vividly how hard that age was.

I remember one Valentine’s Day my mom gave me stickers – we didn’t get gifts that much, especially on random holidays like Valentine’s Day.  That memory sticks out to me – it was such an act of love from my mom who isn’t the “mooshy” type.  It brought me such joy!

Valentine’s Day is a great day to remind your tween three important truths:

1.  Her Identity is Rooted in Jesus Christ

God willed her into existence.  God doesn’t make mistakes. It is completely normal to wonder who you are and why God knew the world needed you.

Her identity is not found in what other people think of her.

Her identity is not based on any mistakes she has or will make.

He loves her more than she can possibly imagine.

We are to love the Lord our God with all our hearts.

Be Yourself: A Catholic Journal for Girls

Remember that article I mentioned?

It states facts about how they brains are still developing and children around the age of 12 and 13 can not plan like an adult.  Then, it states this:

Worse, seventh grade is when so many kids start losing their identity to fit in with their peer group.  At a time when girls are feeling most awkward with growing breasts, braces and growth spurts, . . . all they want to do is blend in with everyone else. “

I am going to add here that they are also searching for their identity.

I believe that identity is found in the God who created us – unique from day one; on purpose for a purpose.

This journal is to reassure them of that belief.

See inside this journal here: Dear Beautiful 13 Year Old . . .

My personal wish for every tween and young teenage girl is that she will discover God’s incredibly real love for her.  I hope and pray she places her trust in Jesus and the beautiful truth that His Love is more abundant than she could ever imagine!

If Valentine’s Day is about love – let’s get her connected to source of True Love – Our Lord Jesus Christ.

By spending time with Him in ways that help her see His light and love, she will discover how to love Him as well as herself and others.

This book was created by me to give your daughter hope when she is worried; comfort when she is sad; joy when she devotes time to getting to know herself through the eyes of her creator and peace when she desires calmness.

Plus, it’s fun too :

And add to the phone with some of DaySpring’s journaling supplies!  I love these:

Puffy Stickers!

Illustrated Faith Pen Pack

Heart Washi Tape

Pink Salt Riot Stickers and Pencils

We are to love the Lord our God with all our hearts.

When we love God above all things, we can more clearly see how to reflect His love in our on unique way.  Give God, and your daughter “all the hearts” this Valentine’s Day

Other gift ideas that will remind to love God above all things and seek her identity with him:

A Heart Pillow

Is your tween finally no longer asking for stuffed animals?  Either way, they still want something to cuddle and hug.  Again, this is a gift that could go on her bed and work as decor, without causing clutter.  It will also give her comfort <3

I love this white “shabby chic” one 

DaySpring also has a cute LOVE HEART PILLOW.

Holy Chocolate

I was always amazed at the reaction I got from my “to cool for school” students when I offered candy as a prize.  It was like they were 6 again.  A candy bar made them the happiest I’d ever seen them.  And I love this chocolate – it truly is heavenly.  Made with care and prayer by the Trappistines . . . and perhaps a wonderful conversation starter about vocations and the future.  There are nuns that prayer and make candy, why yes! Have you thought about the religious life . . .?

2. Always Persevere in Prayer

We can never pray to much. 

God may not answer every prayer how and when we would like Him too, but He certainly hears our prayers and desires us to spend that time with Him.

Pray the Rosary.  Go to Adoration.  These moments of being still are not only good for her soul, but are good for her mental and physical health.

It’s good to pray alone.  It’s great to pray with others.

It’s okay to ask other people to pray for you.  It’s a great idea to ask the Saints in heaven to pray for you.

The more we invite God into our life through prayer the more grace we will receive and that grace will guide us to choose what is good.

Persevere in prayer gift ideas:

A Rosary Bracelet

I think these might be my favorite thing ever.  I mean, they are pretty and encourage prayer – best of both worlds!  And there are so many now – so no matter what your daughter’s style is or her favorite color, there is one she will love!

I love the ones Chews Life has as well as Pink Salt Riot.

I also really like this one made by Mary With You because it reminds me of a “friendship bracelet”.

Saintly Socks

I love the St. Therese’ socks for Valentine’s Day – they have roses all over them!  Give them roses <3

Each time she sees them or puts them on she will be reminded to pray, “St. Therese’, please pick me a rose from the heavenly gardens”.  She will also remember no love or kind act is to little.

I’m also going to go out on a limb here and say these would totally be “Marie Kondo approved”!  They won’t clutter your house!  Win for you and for your daughter!

Check out all the saint socks available here: Sock Religious Socks

3. Be Brave. Be Not Afraid

Now that we have shared the truth with her, she must not be afraid to be a light in the darkness.

Let’s give here an extra boost with some fun gifts!

Be not afraid gift ideas:

I love this Faith over Fear shirt, these very cool temporary tattoos as well as stickers, magnets and pin-back buttons!

Temporary Tattoos can be bought from Just Love Prints and  from Pink Salt Riot

In fact, Pink Salt Riot has a Box of Courage, you can also search Pink Salt Riot’s website for Pink Back Buttons, Key Chains all kinds of Jewelry that say “be not afraid”!

If your daughter likes stickers and magnets, here are some Etsy shops that have those:

Sweet Little Ones

Meyer Market Designs

Look to Him and Be Radiant

I also love this simple, framable print from Sweet Little Ones:

So this Valentine’s Day, let’s remind the tweens we know (and maybe ourselves too) that

1.  Our Identity is Rooted in Jesus Christ

2. Always Persevere in Prayer and

3. Be Brave. Be Not Afraid!

Before they sell out – get you and your daughter a LOVE BOX!

What do you think Tweens need to be reminded of this Valentine’s Day (and every day)?

Share this post and tell us what you want your tween to know – use the hashtag #loveyourtween ! 

More ideas here: https://prayerwinechocolate.comdear-beautiful-13-year-old/

The post Three Reminders Your Tween Daughter Needs This Valentine’s Day appeared first on Prayer Wine Chocolate.

Although my story is not your story, my once sad and lonely heart remembers and feels compelled to tell you – DON’T GIVE UP.

KEEP PRAYING.

KEEP DAYDREAMING.

KEEP “PUTTING YOURSELF OUT THERE”.

There was a period of time in my twenties that I lived in five different apartments. My roommates kept getting married.  I finally moved into my own place.  It was there that I reached such a low that I finally swallowed my pride and went to counseling. After my therapist recommended I take an anti-depressant about ten times, I swallowed my pride again and agreed.  I had been so depressed that I wrote in my prayer journal one night “I want to die.  I want my work on earth here to be finished.”

But that apartment is also where “prayer, wine, chocolate” was born.  It was that period of my life that God brought me three girlfriends going through their own rough times that we came together and started praying the rosary.  That apartment is also where I lived when I went on my first date with Matt, who is now my husband.

The truth is and was: God is in control.  God LOVES you.  God our Father hears your prayers.  Just like the grape vine has to struggle to produce the best grape – and ultimately the finest wine, the Lord is with you and molding you into the finest soul your future spouse could ever marry.

KEEP PRAYING.

KEEP DAYDREAMING.

KEEP “PUTTING YOURSELF OUT THERE”.

Besides going to counseling and taking that antidepressant, there are things I did that helped me on the way.  There are other things I wish I did, that I would like to share with you too.  Some may make you laugh at me and shake your head.  That’s fine.  Sometimes I’m ridiculous.  Sometimes me being ridiculous led to good things

What I did that helped me on my journey from single to married:

1.  I kept a prayer journal. Writing down my prayers helped me communicate my feelings to Jesus.  Helped me think about what my heart truly desired. I also wrote to saints asking them to pray for me.  I really feel like writing out my feelings is a type of therapy.  I used an old fashioned notebook.
2. I signed up for online dating.  Since my faith is the most important aspect of my life, I did CatholicSingleMingle.com and I think CatholicSingles.com.  I don’t know if either of these still exist.  I did meet a couple guys that were really awesome.  One I dated for 6 months.  I’m glad I did it.  Recently my husband and I met a couple who met on match.com (they’re married now).  They are very faithful Catholics and really fun!  Another website I’ve heard of is “plenty of fish”.  If your faith is extremely important to you, communicate that on your profile.  Give it a shot . . . you never know.
3. I bought a book titled, “How to Make Someone Fall In Love with You”.  This is the part where I expect you to be shaking your head and saying, “that’s ridiculous”.  At first it was silly.  I was head over heels for a guy I worked with, and he was only somewhat interested.  I thought, let me try this book.  Ha!  Well, that book suggested I write down every characteristic I had hoped my future spouse would possess.  It guided me with questions – many I would not have thought of on my own.  I still have that description – and Matt fits 90% of it!  I tried finding this book on Amazon, and actually found several with that title.  If you want to check them out, here they are: How to Make Anyone Fall in Love with You, How to Make Someone Fall in Love with You and How To Make Someone Fall in Love with You.
4. I continued making new friends.  As many of my old friends left the single life, I found myself meeting other people who were either still single, going through a divorce or divorced.  These friends are now also “old” friends.  It was great having people to go out with after work and have “girls’ nights” with.  The rosary group started with one friend I had known for awhile, and two new friends.  These relationships helped me make the decision to go to therapy, gave me great times that our now great memories, and created a prayer group that still exists today.

What I wish I did:

1.  The therapist I went to encouraged me to join something called the “Sierra Club”.  She told me they did things like hiking.  I scoffed at the idea.  Do you know how much I want to go hiking now?  My husband is afraid of heights (something I did not learn until we were married).  I fear going on a hike with him, because what if he starts out fine and then we’re up on a cliff and he starts experiencing vertigo?  That would not be good.  I should of went hiking!  Maybe I would have made some friends that I would still go on a hike with once in a while!  Remember, you and your future spouse are not going to sit around and stare at each other for fifty years.  Do things you find fun!
2. Travel.  My sister is in her 30’s and is single.  She’s been to Europe at least three times.  She goes on ski trips, mission trips, and “I just want to go” trips.  My friends went to Ireland when I was single.  I just thought, “I don’t have the money”.  I had a credit card.  I could of gone.  Go.

Again, DON’T GIVE UP. DON’T LOOK BACK.  GOD WANTS YOU TO LOOK AHEAD, AND LOOK AHEAD WITH HOPE!  KEEP PRAYING FOR WHATEVER OR WHOEVER YOUR HEART DESIRES!

If you want me to pray for you specifically, I will!  Just say the word!  Sending you love, hug and prayers! <3 Amy

The post A Valentine Post for Those Who Are Single and Not Loving It appeared first on Prayer Wine Chocolate.