This post contains affiliate or associate links with several businesses (which means if you shop through the links, I earn a small commission). As an Amazon Associate I earn from qualifying purchases.

Being an adolescent has NEVER been easy! Even Jesus confused HIS parents when He was 12!

We could spend our whole lives learning about our faith- and how it is a gift.

I don’t know about you, but I had a LOT of questions when I was in elementary school (back then it was 1st through 8th grade).

I wondered what I was supposed to think about when I prayed; what did Jesus expect from me; what did it mean for me to “be yourself”.

As years past, I came to realize that simply putting God first and trusting Him even when it didn’t make sense to me was exactly what God wanted from me.

Still, I wish I had known or heard some advice sooner.

Here’s some advice that could help your tween today (and tomorrow)!

5 Words of Advice Your Catholic Tween Needs to Hear

1. God does not want you to be stressed out.

Be still. We hear that Scripture verse often.

I have not heard the Scripture passage that reads “hustle until you completely burn out.” Have you?

Our children are searching for their gifts and talents.

That can be exhausting.

And even once they find their talents, those gifts are there so that they can strive for Sainthood in a unique and unrepeatable way. Once those gifts and talents become heavy and burdensome, Our Lord Jesus has very specific instructions:

“Come to me, all you who labor and are burdened,^* and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am meek and humble of heart; and you will find rest for yourselves. For my yoke is easy, and my burden light.”

Mother Teresa said “Never worry about numbers, help one person at a time and start with the person closest to you.”

Saint Katharine Drexel advised, “peacefully do at each moment what needs to be done.”

When stress comes, our children need to remember that they are loved more than they can imagine, simply because God made her His daughter (or made him His son).

Let’s make sure we are sending that message. Grades and success have their place, but we must love God with all our soul, all our heart and all our mind – that is what is most important.

Trust in the Lord.

2. One of your greatest and most important responsibilities is to avoid sin.

Saint Maria Goretti’s mother taught her to avoid sin at all costs. She knew that sin is so bad for us!

It’s common to speak about what foods are healthy and unhealthy in our culture. We are very aware that there are things that are “good for us” and things that are “bad for us”. But this is not just true for our bodies, it’s also true when it comes to our souls.

Sin is bad for you. Sin is bad for all of us.

As parents, we stress that choices are important. We may say, don’t do that – it’s hurtful to others or it offends God. But sin is also, simply put, bad for us too.

3. You are not meant to be friends with everyone.

Saint Francis de Sales gives this advice:

“Love everyone with a deep love based on charity,… but form friendships only with those who can share virtuous things with you.”

C.S. Lewis wrote a book titled The Four Loves. In it, he names and describes 4 types of love (affection, friendship, eros and charity). Of friendship, he says this:

“our ancestors regarded friendship as something that raised us almost above humanity. . . . It is the sort of love one can imagine between angels.”

His words are in agreement with Saint Francis with DeSales. C.S. Lewis describes:

“the little pockets of early Christians survived because they cared exclusively for the love of ‘the brethren’ and stopped their ears to the opinion of Pagan society all round them. But a circle of criminals, cranks or perverts survives in just the same way; by becoming deaf to the opinion of the outer world . . .”

Recommended books for tween and young teen boys: Be Yourself: a Journal for Catholic Boys and books from Voyage Comics and Publishing.

4. You need to be intentional about thanking God often.

“In all circumstances give thanks, for this is the will of God for you in Christ Jesus.”

1 Thessalonians 5:18

We tell our children to “say thank you” all.the.time! But most of the time, it’s to another person.

A wise friend once shared a practice he had with me. He told me, “before I get out of bed in the morning, I thank God for my spouse” … something like that. After he told me that, I decided that I was going to make that a practice of mine too.

More about that conversation in the post 3 Ways to Awaken the Saint Within You

Obviously, your tween doesn’t have a spouse. But I also got some great wisdom once from Gianna Emmanuela Mola (Saint Gianna’s daughter).

I had the opportunity to speak with her after a talk she gave at a local parish. I could not believe how much her father suffered – even after the death of her “Saint mother” as she calls her. Did you know shortly after Gianna’s death, her 6 year old daughter also passed away? My heart ached when I heard that. Yet, Gianna Emmanuela’s talk spoke of how her father taught her to always be so grateful to God.

I asked, “How?, How after all that, can you still be grateful in those moments of such anguish”?

She took a deep breath (the kind people take when they are shocked you just said that out loud) and responded, “I THANK GOD FOR EVERY BREATH I TAKE!”

(read more about this at 5 Lessons I Learned from the Daughter of a Saint)

5. Believe in miracles. Believe in the power of prayer. Never give up on hope.

One quote that I made sure was in both the boy’s and girl’s Be Yourself Journals was this one:

“I plead with you–never, ever give up on hope, never doubt, never tire, and never become discouraged. Be not afraid.”

Saint Pope John Paul II

We know that life often has disappointments. A tween or young teen is still new to all types of rejection.

Encountering heartache and failure is a normal part of life – but our kids need to learn how to cope with it when it comes along.

This is where faith is truly a gift.

When she doesn’t get a part in the play or he doesn’t make the team, we need to help them practice positive “self-talk”. We need to encourage them to pray about what is on their minds and hearts. We want them to look forward with hope and not to fall into despair. This is so important and needs to be taught over and over again. I love the wisdom attributed to Saint Teresa Avila:

“We pay God a compliment when we ask big things of Him.”

When our children are struggling with math or lost the past 5 wrestling or tennis matches, it is a great gift to encourage them to go to God with this suffering. The more our children go to God in prayer, the stronger their faith will grow. As adults, this faith will be priceless.

These words of advice are from the Be Yourself Journals!

Do you want your tween to hear these words over and over again? Share them and give them a copy of Be Yourself: a Journal for Catholic Girls or Be Yourself: a Journal for Catholic Boys.

The post 5 Words of Advice Your Catholic Tween Needs to Hear appeared first on Prayer Wine Chocolate.

This post contains affiliate or associate links with several businesses (which means if you shop through the links, I earn a small commission). As an Amazon Associate I earn from qualifying purchases.

“They are all confused”.

This was what a former student of mine, who now teaches middle school, said to me recently about her students.

It is completely normal for a child going through adolescence to be confused about who they are.

It was confusing in the 1980’s and 1990’s- I vividly remember that.

It seems like the confusion has accelerated immensely in recent years.

My former student agrees.

We want our daughters to be comfortable and confident to just be themselves . . . but:

We can’t tell a 12 year old girl to “just be yourself” and walk away.

Most 12 year-olds are wondering who they are!

We can help them to discover her identity in Christ.

How?

By answering these questions – even if we haven’t heard our children ask them out loud.

Question: Is my gender a mistake?

Answer: No. God made you on purpose, with a purpose and nothing that God has ever created was, is or will be a mistake.

“One has to be content with what has been assigned him by heaven” (Jn. 3:27)*

Remind and reassure your daughter that she was created out of pure love by God the Father.

God gave her a specific body and that body is . . .

“a window into the depth of the person who is inescapably male or female. We can think of the body as a compass which points us toward love—both the love which is our origin and the love which fulfills us. After all, “it is not good for the man to be alone”

(Gen. 2:18): (from Focus article on the Catholic Church and gender)

Tell her she is unique and unrepeatable.

Assure her that God has a plan and mission for her. We need to tell her that she should pray often; giving thanks to Our Lord and asking the Holy Spirit for guidance.

Question: Do my actions really matter? How important is it for me to obey the Commandments and go to Mass?

Answer: Little acts of faith done are really important.

“If we are faithful in little, we will obtain grace for the big.“

Saint Katharine Drexel

We need to stress how important little acts of faith are in our daily lives.

I am a firm believer that every young person should watch the original Karate Kid movie.

When Daniel finally confronts Mr. Miyagi about painting the fence, sanding the floor, waxing the cars, and all the other chores he felt were “pointless” he quickly realizes that those acts were not in vain.

Daniel was being trained to defend himself physically.

Our little acts of faith allow our soul to be trained.

God does not want to cause stress in our lives.

God wants us to be faithful in the little so we will have grace for the big stuff.

Our Lord wants us to help one person at a time, and start with the person closest to us.

God wants us to enjoy His creation and smile at others. He desires our hearts and our trust.

Question: Did God give me any talents? OR Why would God give me this talent?

Answer: Yes, God gives everyone special talents. God gives us talents so that we can grow to closer to Him and serve others.

“So let your light shine before your fellow men . . .”

It is totally fine if you don’t yet know what talents He has given you.

It is totally fine if you can’t imagine how your talent could help another person. One day it will be revealed to you… until then, work honestly and diligently.

Question: Why can’t I be friends with so and so – God says to love everyone!!!

Answer: It’s okay to not be friends with everyone. In fact, you are not meant to be friends with all of your peers.

“Love everyone with a strenuous love based on charity, but form friendships only with those who can share virtuous things with you.”

– St. Francis de Sales

God doesn’t want you to be friends with everyone.

Yes, you are to love others. Yes, you are to show kindness and compassion. But friendship is a special gift for a few people.

Do not let popularity become a god.

Many teens make being liked or popular such a priority that God’s voice becomes distant and difficult to hear.

We need to stress the need to stay close to Him and make His will their top priority.

Get a copy of Be Yourself: a Journal for Catholic Girls here.

Question: How do I love myself?

Answer: Take care of yourself. Care for both your body and your soul.

Self-care and self-love includes taking care of your soul.

“You have a soul, be careful with it.”

-Chris Pratt, actor

Discuss Spiritual health.

We often speak about what is good for the body (veggies) and not good (junk food, drugs, etc.)

We should not forget to tell our children that sin is bad for them!

We need to teach them that it is critical for them to avoid sin. If she does not know if something is a sin or not… she should ask you! And chances are if she “doesn’t know” it’s probably not the best choice.
Our souls need to be cared for just like our bodies.

Want more advice like this? I recommend reading “How To Talk To Your Tween (or Teen) About Sex”

What would you add? How can we help young girls “Be who God meant them to be and set the world ablaze “!?

If you want your daughter to grow in her relationship with God and get to know herself while having fun, I recommend giving her a copy of Be Yourself: a Journal for Catholic Girls!

Want to know when more resources, books, lesson plans and Bible studies become available? Sign up for the Prayer Wine Chocolate Newsletter today!

*Found this in an incredible book given to me recently: My Other Self – the copy I have was published in the 1950’s, but it was recently re-published and is great for reminding us as adults who God has called us to be and how God is calling us to think and live.

The post Your Catholic Daughter Has Questions; Here are the Answers appeared first on Prayer Wine Chocolate.

This post contains affiliate or associate links with several businesses (which means if you shop through the links, I earn a small commission). As an Amazon Associate I earn from qualifying purchases

This blog post highlights the conversation I had with Phil Kosloski, owner of Voyage Comics and Publishing. If you want to view or listen to the whole interview, here is the link:

This interview reminded me of an episode of The Big Bang Theory. Imagine Sheldon Cooper has a guest on fun with flags and the guest takes a drink of water, and, well . . .watch the video, you’ll see where I’m going with this . . .

Speaking of Big Bang Theory and comic book publishing . .

I described his online store as “everything Catholic Geek”.

Being a geek isn’t exactly uncool these days.

Philip started writing a few years ago on his blog about instances when popular culture linked to Christianity.

And in recent times, popular culture seems to have embraced “geekdom”.

So, if your son likes

the Star Wars films,

Lord of the Rings,

Superheroes,

sci-fi,

fantasy or comic books

I highly suggest you follow Kosloski’s blog and consider making a few purchases in his shop.

And think about how you can show charity in a really fun way by supporting the next Voyage Comic’s kickstarter campaign.

As a female author of a new boy’s journal, I asked Phil to share his insight as a man of faith and how being a young man and now father of five influenced his prayer life and overall dedication to Our Lord.

He said 5 things that really stood out.

Connect the real world with the world of fiction.

In The Force Awakens, Luke Skywalker takes refuge on a real island known as Skelling Michael. The Jedi are fictional spiritual warriors – but this place was the home of real spiritual warriors – Catholic monks.

Phil felt really compelled to explore that real world place and what really happened there. Who were the monks that live there? How did that place allow them to do real spiritual battle?

Finnian and the Seven Mountains, Kosloski’s first comic book is “an epic journey that begins on the mysterious island of Skellig Michael, where [ a legendary sword rumored to have the extraordinary power to defeat evil] was last seen. 

Tip/Trick #1: Talk about the movies, films, and popular books that grab your son’s attention and interest. Start by talking about what was really cool, but continue with a truth that was presented, a place that really exists, and maybe a topic that was discussed.

Discuss the desire to fight and who is really behind the bad stuff in the world.

I asked Phil who his favorite superhero is, and he said Spider Man. While defending his answer, he mentioned an ordinary kid doing extraordinary things.

Later in our conversation, we discussed Spiritual Warfare a little more. Phil recommended that we teach our sons to direct his desire to fight in the right direction. There is an invisible world around us but we often forget because we can’t see it.

Who is really behind the bad stuff in the world? It’s easy to get mad at people – but really we could pray more for others instead of getting int actual fights with people.

These conversations can be brought up when discussing popular comic heros. According to one of the posts on Voyage Comics blog:

” DC Comics remains one of the most popular brands of entertainment, with its iconic superheroes, such as Batman, Superman and Wonder Woman.

Surprisingly, over the years much Christian symbolism has found its way inside DC Comics stories, including many of their latest movies.

Whether intentional or not, truth, beauty and goodness is on display . . .

See more: Top 10 articles on Christian symbolism found in DC Comics

Tip/Trick #2: This is where Phil’s blog can come in really handy. This blog constantly brings the fight against evil in our cinemas back to the true fight we are called to – spiritual warfare. Remind and teach your son how to fight this war and that, in fact, it is a very real battle.

Reassure the fact that Catholic Men can – and do – have really cool careers and vocations

First of all, Phil Kosloski works from home writing for Aleita and owns a Comic book publishing house.

If that isn’t impressive enough, consider Jim Caviezal.

Two artists that have made the Finnian series come to be and continue to grow are Jim Fern and Jay David Ramos, both devout Catholics and also employed by both Marvel and DC comics.

Father Peyton was ambitious in his mission and contacted popular Hollywood actors and actresses, such as Bing Crosby and Loretta Young, to help him convince families everywhere, “The family that prays together stays together.”

Using television, radio and film, Father Peyton was a modern-day missionary who went on to encourage devotion to the Blessed Mother and inspire families to pray together. His inspiring life story is now made accessible for the first time in a comic book format.

This comic book and the first of the Finnian series, both bring up the important topic of discernment.

Tip/Trick #3: Discuss the future – what does your son see himself doing as an adult? Has he considered becoming a priest? Does he have a certain career in mind? Once he reveals what he is interested in, try to find him examples of devout, prayerful men who are currently working in that field.

Mention and Encourage Discernment

Phil advised: “Every discerning Catholic young man should go to the seminary.”

He stated the seminary environment is great for discernment. He himself spent 3 years in the seminary before he became aware that his calling was not to become a priest; however, he felt being there was definitely a fruitful positive experience.

Tip/Trick #4: Two of Kosloski’s comic books take a good look at discernment: the first book in the Finnian series as well as The Tale of Patrick Peyton. The question, what does God want me to do is one we often ask – encourage your son to pray about decisions before making them – the decisions he is making right now, this week, and this month. This habit will come in handy when larger questions (like is God calling me to the priesthood) come about.

Embrace driving your son to Youth Group

When I asked Phil about his own journey with the faith, he mentioned going to youth group.

He said he did grow up in a Catholic family and wasn’t to active in the faith but then in high school he got involved in youth group and that sent him on a different path. Being around other Catholics was very influential.

Tip/Trick #5: Find a local Catholic youth group. Volunteer to take your son to one of their events.

Bonus Tip: Get your son this journal

I love reading your comments! What other ways can parents nurture the faith of their sons!??? Leave a comment and let us know what has worked in your family!

The post Navigating the Catholic Faith with Your Son: 5 Tips and Tricks appeared first on Prayer Wine Chocolate.

This post contains affiliate or associate links with several businesses (which means if you shop through the links, I earn a small commission). As an Amazon Associate I earn from qualifying purchases.

Ever since the Be Yourself Journal for Catholic Girls was published, I have been asked the question, “Is there one for boys?” This question, asked over and over again, made me realize two things:

1. There wasn’t one for boys. In fact, what is available for boys is scarce and frankly, not that impressive.
2. There needs to be one for boys.

So, with the help of many, I wrote one.

I’m excited to announce that, Be Yourself: A Journal for Catholic is available for pre-order today!

Officially, Be Yourself: A Catholic Journal for Boys will be released on June 5, 2020 by Our Sunday Visitor.

But you can pre-order your copy today and be one of the first to have this book!

Here is the description of the book found on Amazon:

“You are a thought of God, you are a heartbeat of God. To say this is like saying that you have a value which in a sense is infinite, that you matter to God in your completely unique individuality.” – Pope Saint John Paul II

Be Yourself: A Journal for Catholic Boys was designed for boys to understand their identity and individuality, with the help of their Catholic faith.

Packed full of great art, quizzes, journaling questions, quotes from the saints, Scripture verses, and passages from the Catechism of the Catholic Church, the Be Yourself journal helps boys become the men God created them to be.

Ages 9 and up.

Wondering how your tech loving teen might start journaling? Check out How to Get Your Tech Loving Teen to Prayer Journal

Want to start a prayer journal yourself? It’s easy, here’s how: How to Start a Prayer Journal (in 3 Easy Steps)

The post Be Yourself: A Catholic Journal for BOYS! appeared first on Prayer Wine Chocolate.

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