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“They are all confused”.

This was what a former student of mine, who now teaches middle school, said to me recently about her students.

It is completely normal for a child going through adolescence to be confused about who they are.

It was confusing in the 1980’s and 1990’s- I vividly remember that.

It seems like the confusion has accelerated immensely in recent years.

My former student agrees.

We want our daughters to be comfortable and confident to just be themselves . . . but:

We can’t tell a 12 year old girl to “just be yourself” and walk away.

Most 12 year-olds are wondering who they are!

We can help them to discover her identity in Christ.

How?

By answering these questions – even if we haven’t heard our children ask them out loud.

Question: Is my gender a mistake?

Answer: No. God made you on purpose, with a purpose and nothing that God has ever created was, is or will be a mistake.

“One has to be content with what has been assigned him by heaven” (Jn. 3:27)*

Remind and reassure your daughter that she was created out of pure love by God the Father.

God gave her a specific body and that body is . . .

“a window into the depth of the person who is inescapably male or female. We can think of the body as a compass which points us toward love—both the love which is our origin and the love which fulfills us. After all, “it is not good for the man to be alone”

(Gen. 2:18): (from Focus article on the Catholic Church and gender)

Tell her she is unique and unrepeatable.

Assure her that God has a plan and mission for her. We need to tell her that she should pray often; giving thanks to Our Lord and asking the Holy Spirit for guidance.

Question: Do my actions really matter? How important is it for me to obey the Commandments and go to Mass?

Answer: Little acts of faith done are really important.

“If we are faithful in little, we will obtain grace for the big.“

Saint Katharine Drexel

We need to stress how important little acts of faith are in our daily lives.

I am a firm believer that every young person should watch the original Karate Kid movie.

When Daniel finally confronts Mr. Miyagi about painting the fence, sanding the floor, waxing the cars, and all the other chores he felt were “pointless” he quickly realizes that those acts were not in vain.

Daniel was being trained to defend himself physically.

Our little acts of faith allow our soul to be trained.

God does not want to cause stress in our lives.

God wants us to be faithful in the little so we will have grace for the big stuff.

Our Lord wants us to help one person at a time, and start with the person closest to us.

God wants us to enjoy His creation and smile at others. He desires our hearts and our trust.

Question: Did God give me any talents? OR Why would God give me this talent?

Answer: Yes, God gives everyone special talents. God gives us talents so that we can grow to closer to Him and serve others.

“So let your light shine before your fellow men . . .”

It is totally fine if you don’t yet know what talents He has given you.

It is totally fine if you can’t imagine how your talent could help another person. One day it will be revealed to you… until then, work honestly and diligently.

Question: Why can’t I be friends with so and so – God says to love everyone!!!

Answer: It’s okay to not be friends with everyone. In fact, you are not meant to be friends with all of your peers.

“Love everyone with a strenuous love based on charity, but form friendships only with those who can share virtuous things with you.”

– St. Francis de Sales

God doesn’t want you to be friends with everyone.

Yes, you are to love others. Yes, you are to show kindness and compassion. But friendship is a special gift for a few people.

Do not let popularity become a god.

Many teens make being liked or popular such a priority that God’s voice becomes distant and difficult to hear.

We need to stress the need to stay close to Him and make His will their top priority.

Get a copy of Be Yourself: a Journal for Catholic Girls here.

Question: How do I love myself?

Answer: Take care of yourself. Care for both your body and your soul.

Self-care and self-love includes taking care of your soul.

“You have a soul, be careful with it.”

-Chris Pratt, actor

Discuss Spiritual health.

We often speak about what is good for the body (veggies) and not good (junk food, drugs, etc.)

We should not forget to tell our children that sin is bad for them!

We need to teach them that it is critical for them to avoid sin. If she does not know if something is a sin or not… she should ask you! And chances are if she “doesn’t know” it’s probably not the best choice.
Our souls need to be cared for just like our bodies.

Want more advice like this? I recommend reading “How To Talk To Your Tween (or Teen) About Sex”

What would you add? How can we help young girls “Be who God meant them to be and set the world ablaze “!?

If you want your daughter to grow in her relationship with God and get to know herself while having fun, I recommend giving her a copy of Be Yourself: a Journal for Catholic Girls!

Want to know when more resources, books, lesson plans and Bible studies become available? Sign up for the Prayer Wine Chocolate Newsletter today!

*Found this in an incredible book given to me recently: My Other Self – the copy I have was published in the 1950’s, but it was recently re-published and is great for reminding us as adults who God has called us to be and how God is calling us to think and live.

The post Your Catholic Daughter Has Questions; Here are the Answers appeared first on Prayer Wine Chocolate.

This post contains affiliate or associate links with several businesses (which means if you shop through the links, I earn a small commission). As an Amazon Associate I earn from qualifying purchases.

How’s Lent going in your house?

Whether you are doing great with making sacrifices or really never started, this dinner time discussion game is a great way to think about and encourage your family to keep this season of the year in mind as well as prayer, fasting and almsgiving.

This list was written by a college friend and she assured and encouraged me to share with all of you! Kristi – the writer of this awesome game – asked that you share more ideas in the comments!

We suggest you cut up these questions and pass them around the dinner table in a bowl.

****Want a downloadable/printable copy? Click here:*****

Would You Rather Lent Edition Printable

WOULD YOU RATHER – 2021 Lenten Edition 

Questions inspired by the daily readings from the first ten days and the Sundays of Lent

1. Play a trumpet in front of a crowd or give money away in secret?
2. Wear sackcloth and ashes or eat bread with a stranger?
3. Spend 40 days on the ark in the flood, or spend 40 days in a desert alone?
4. Be a keeper of sheep, or a keeper of keys?
5. Be broken-hearted or fearful?
6. Be eaten by a whale or by lions?
7. Rejoice with one friend or 100 strangers?
8. Meet Abraham or Moses?
9. Sell doves or oxen?
10. Be blind or a beggar?
11. Be raised from the dead or see someone else be raised from the dead?
12. Be in a parade with friends or eat a special meal with friends?

Would you rather FAST FROM…

1. Sweets or the internet?
2. Cars or airplanes?
3. Video calls or texting?
4. Funny movies or action movies?
5. Talking or walking?
6. Hugs or high fives?
7. Reading or music?

Would you rather GIVE…

1. To a person you know or a charity group
2. To a stranger or a friend
3. To a homeless shelter or a school
4. A hundred dollars to ten people or a thousand dollars to one person
5. Money or food?
6. Your time or money?
7. Bread or fish?

Would you rather PRAY…

1. Alone or in a group?
2. With your own words or a recited prayer?
3. An old prayer from memory or read a new one?
4. In English or a different language?
5. The rosary or in silence?
6. In a church or in nature?
7. From the Bible every day, or never open the Bible again?

Does your family like this type of game? Do you have a child between the ages of 9 and 14? If yes, be sure to get him or her a Be Yourself Journal!

Want another fun game to play? Listen to this podcast and play along to Home But Not Alone “Saint or Superhero?”! Guess who said the quote – a saint or a superhero!

Do me a favor? Sign up for my newsletter so we can stay in touch!

Click here so I can send you new posts and keep you up to date with events and more –

Yes, sign me up for Prayer Wine Chocolate’s Newsletter!!!

Honoring the Year of Saint Joseph? Check out this post filled with great Saint Joseph gifts! Over 25 Catholic Gifts Inspired by Saint Joseph

The post Would You Rather: Lent Edition 2021 appeared first on Prayer Wine Chocolate.

This post contains affiliate or associate links with several businesses (which means if you shop through the links, I earn a small commission). As an Amazon Associate I earn from qualifying purchases

This blog post highlights the conversation I had with Phil Kosloski, owner of Voyage Comics and Publishing. If you want to view or listen to the whole interview, here is the link:

This interview reminded me of an episode of The Big Bang Theory. Imagine Sheldon Cooper has a guest on fun with flags and the guest takes a drink of water, and, well . . .watch the video, you’ll see where I’m going with this . . .

Speaking of Big Bang Theory and comic book publishing . .

I described his online store as “everything Catholic Geek”.

Being a geek isn’t exactly uncool these days.

Philip started writing a few years ago on his blog about instances when popular culture linked to Christianity.

And in recent times, popular culture seems to have embraced “geekdom”.

So, if your son likes

the Star Wars films,

Lord of the Rings,

Superheroes,

sci-fi,

fantasy or comic books

I highly suggest you follow Kosloski’s blog and consider making a few purchases in his shop.

And think about how you can show charity in a really fun way by supporting the next Voyage Comic’s kickstarter campaign.

As a female author of a new boy’s journal, I asked Phil to share his insight as a man of faith and how being a young man and now father of five influenced his prayer life and overall dedication to Our Lord.

He said 5 things that really stood out.

Connect the real world with the world of fiction.

In The Force Awakens, Luke Skywalker takes refuge on a real island known as Skelling Michael. The Jedi are fictional spiritual warriors – but this place was the home of real spiritual warriors – Catholic monks.

Phil felt really compelled to explore that real world place and what really happened there. Who were the monks that live there? How did that place allow them to do real spiritual battle?

Finnian and the Seven Mountains, Kosloski’s first comic book is “an epic journey that begins on the mysterious island of Skellig Michael, where [ a legendary sword rumored to have the extraordinary power to defeat evil] was last seen. 

Tip/Trick #1: Talk about the movies, films, and popular books that grab your son’s attention and interest. Start by talking about what was really cool, but continue with a truth that was presented, a place that really exists, and maybe a topic that was discussed.

Discuss the desire to fight and who is really behind the bad stuff in the world.

I asked Phil who his favorite superhero is, and he said Spider Man. While defending his answer, he mentioned an ordinary kid doing extraordinary things.

Later in our conversation, we discussed Spiritual Warfare a little more. Phil recommended that we teach our sons to direct his desire to fight in the right direction. There is an invisible world around us but we often forget because we can’t see it.

Who is really behind the bad stuff in the world? It’s easy to get mad at people – but really we could pray more for others instead of getting int actual fights with people.

These conversations can be brought up when discussing popular comic heros. According to one of the posts on Voyage Comics blog:

” DC Comics remains one of the most popular brands of entertainment, with its iconic superheroes, such as Batman, Superman and Wonder Woman.

Surprisingly, over the years much Christian symbolism has found its way inside DC Comics stories, including many of their latest movies.

Whether intentional or not, truth, beauty and goodness is on display . . .

See more: Top 10 articles on Christian symbolism found in DC Comics

Tip/Trick #2: This is where Phil’s blog can come in really handy. This blog constantly brings the fight against evil in our cinemas back to the true fight we are called to – spiritual warfare. Remind and teach your son how to fight this war and that, in fact, it is a very real battle.

Reassure the fact that Catholic Men can – and do – have really cool careers and vocations

First of all, Phil Kosloski works from home writing for Aleita and owns a Comic book publishing house.

If that isn’t impressive enough, consider Jim Caviezal.

Two artists that have made the Finnian series come to be and continue to grow are Jim Fern and Jay David Ramos, both devout Catholics and also employed by both Marvel and DC comics.

Father Peyton was ambitious in his mission and contacted popular Hollywood actors and actresses, such as Bing Crosby and Loretta Young, to help him convince families everywhere, “The family that prays together stays together.”

Using television, radio and film, Father Peyton was a modern-day missionary who went on to encourage devotion to the Blessed Mother and inspire families to pray together. His inspiring life story is now made accessible for the first time in a comic book format.

This comic book and the first of the Finnian series, both bring up the important topic of discernment.

Tip/Trick #3: Discuss the future – what does your son see himself doing as an adult? Has he considered becoming a priest? Does he have a certain career in mind? Once he reveals what he is interested in, try to find him examples of devout, prayerful men who are currently working in that field.

Mention and Encourage Discernment

Phil advised: “Every discerning Catholic young man should go to the seminary.”

He stated the seminary environment is great for discernment. He himself spent 3 years in the seminary before he became aware that his calling was not to become a priest; however, he felt being there was definitely a fruitful positive experience.

Tip/Trick #4: Two of Kosloski’s comic books take a good look at discernment: the first book in the Finnian series as well as The Tale of Patrick Peyton. The question, what does God want me to do is one we often ask – encourage your son to pray about decisions before making them – the decisions he is making right now, this week, and this month. This habit will come in handy when larger questions (like is God calling me to the priesthood) come about.

Embrace driving your son to Youth Group

When I asked Phil about his own journey with the faith, he mentioned going to youth group.

He said he did grow up in a Catholic family and wasn’t to active in the faith but then in high school he got involved in youth group and that sent him on a different path. Being around other Catholics was very influential.

Tip/Trick #5: Find a local Catholic youth group. Volunteer to take your son to one of their events.

Bonus Tip: Get your son this journal

I love reading your comments! What other ways can parents nurture the faith of their sons!??? Leave a comment and let us know what has worked in your family!

The post Navigating the Catholic Faith with Your Son: 5 Tips and Tricks appeared first on Prayer Wine Chocolate.

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Not to long ago, Lindsay Trezza from Just Love Prints posed a question on Facebook.  She asked,

What advice would you give your middle school self? 

I thought, well, I wrote a whole book to answer that one.  But I thought, maybe I should seriously consider this question, shorten my answer from 100 pages … and give the world a peak into the Be Yourself Journal and the motivation behind it.

Being 11, 12, 13 and beyond is etched into my memory and heart in all sorts of ways.  It is and was and will always be a difficult age.  Some of us struggle more than others, but most of us do not realize how much our peers are experiencing the same growing pains.  We tend to learn years later how we had more in common with our peers than not.

But at the same time, there is a beautiful innocence at this age.  I remember the questions I had, the music and colors I was attracted to and the dreams I dreamt.  As a teacher, I truly enjoyed teaching 9th grade the best.  So much hope, purity and joy can be found in most children that age.  I have a special place for them in my heart.  The Be Yourself Journal is a gift to young girls that age.  A tool to help them see the joy and light in their own life and a manual to help them navigate their growing relationship with the Lord. Plus, there are lots of added elements that make it fun and enjoyable.

If I could speak to my middle school self, I would say:

I know you don’t think you are beautiful, but, you are beautiful.

How many times have you heard, “you look just like your mom”?  For some reason, you hate hearing it – because you don’t see it.  But the truth is, other people do see it.  And when you look at your mom, you see a beautiful woman.  You might be jealous that her teeth are straighter than yours, but please – minor detail.  You’ll get braces, chill with that.  Every woman sees flaws in themselves.  Happy women don’t focus on them. No matter how gorgeous a woman is, she loses her sight of that beauty when she begins to compare.  Models bring themselves down by comparison.  Not feeling pretty enough because of envying others will never bring joy and happiness.  Know that you are “wonderfully made” and radiate a beauty only you can radiate.

Be grateful for all the little things.

I know you wish for things and pray for things and don’t see the answers you long for, BUT -that breath you just took – that was a gift from God.  Thank Him for it. That beautiful Japanese Maple outside on your front lawn, thank God for it. When you’re walking to school and it’s not raining, that God for the nice weather and the time to just “be”.  Take those moments to truly thank God for His creation.  It doesn’t take much time to say, “Thank you God for ________”.  Give God that time and attention.  When you are grateful for the little things, joy becomes more common in life.  Breathe and thank God he gave you life. I know you think it could be better – but a grateful heart focuses on the good.  Gratitude will open the door for joy, peace and happiness.

The only thing you need to worry about is how much you are loving the people closest to you. 

You worry about a lot of things. Padre Pio, a great saint, stated simply, “Pray, hope, and don’t worry.”  The Lord wants you to love – and that simply means, be kind and patient.  Be kind and patient with your parents, your siblings, your teammates and your classmates.  Mother Teresa once said if we want to bring peace to the world, we should go home and love our families. Give compliments every day. Tell your mom what food you enjoyed at dinner and tell her she did a great job making it! Find something to praise in each of your family members daily. For now, that is your God given mission – to love the people He has placed around you. All the other things that worry you – tell Jesus in a simple prayer.  Say, “Dear Jesus I am upset and worried about ______” and then try your best to leave it in His hands.  It’s not easy, but do your best.  The Lord does not want you to occupy your mind with worries.

Speaking of loving your family, go color with your sister.

First of all, you have a sister – what a beautiful gift to be grateful for!  She is a love and she’s six – I bet she has a coloring book.  Ask her to color with you.  Spend time with her and spend time coloring.   Not only will you make your sister happy, you’ll learn to relax a little. Maybe.  Try not to abort mission when she asks you to play a board game you hate.  Remember, kind and patient – repeat that, “kind and patient”.

Don’t give up.

As your future self, I am happy to say, you do not need me to tell you this.  Your perseverance in continuing to play sports when it seemed like “it wasn’t your bag”, your constant dreaming of life getting better and the way you hold onto your faith enables you to flourish, excel and achieve great things.  You did this right.  Encourage others to do the same.

Be generous with forgiveness

People are going to hurt your feelings.  Some of those people are family members.  Others are the “popular” students in school and athletes and teammates.  Forgive them – even if they are not sorry.  There will be times in life when you won’t have to be forgiving someone new or for a new thing every single day.  Unfortunately, this time period of your life will make you feel like this is expected often.  It’s not fair, but it is what it is.  Forgiveness is not just your duty as  a Christian, it is also a gift that frees up space in your heart for more joy.  Grudges are heavy burdens- don’t carry them. Remember, Jesus forgave those who crucified Him . Ask Him for help when it is difficult. And be generous with forgiving yourself as well.

God made you on purpose and for a purpose.

You were created to fulfill a mission only you can fulfill.  Every time you trust the Lord – even when you don’t understand “why???” – you get closer to seeing it.  You have no idea right now how important, powerful and influential your example and witness to your faith is – it would blow your mind.  Trust me, your effort to do God’s will and be the best version of yourself is not in vain.

When thinking about your life and how to “be yourself” remember: everyone is called to holiness, but our roads look different. We do not all go by the same path.  We are called to love.  We are called to bring God’s peacefulness to the world.

Dream about your future with hope and keep your heart open.”

Taken from the Saint Spotlight page featuring Saint Katharine Drexel

 in the Be Yourself Journal

One day you will look back and see just how your blind obedience was the hand of God:

My Stupid Talent Was a Great Blessing

It’s okay to enjoy life!  Embrace imagination, creativity and the talent of others!

Right now you probably have a few favorite songs, a celebrity crush and some dreams and goals.  That is great!  As long as those things don’t lead you to sin, enjoy!  Smiling can be contagious, embrace the talent of others!  The people that write the songs you enjoy, the tv shows that make you laugh and the clothes that you’d love to wear are using the talents that God has given them – celebrate it with them.  There is more to life than that boy you want to have a crush on you.  There is way more to life than feeling popular.  Don’t let what you don’t have be a distraction to all that brings joy, peace and inspiration.

Need a letter for your daughter to read, consider Dear Beautiful Girl Trying to Find Herself

Not sure your daughter would journal, here’s some tips: How to Get Your Tech Loving Teen to Prayer Journal

Would you like to view the entire journal?  Check it out at Be Yourself: A Journal for Catholic Girls ( scroll down and watch the video at the bottom of the page).

Consider giving the Be Yourself Journal as an Easter gift!  Pair it with some fun and inspiring journal supplies.  These products from DaySpring are a perfect addition!

Illustrates Faith Journal Supplies from DaySpring

The post Dear Beautiful 13 Year Old Me . . . appeared first on Prayer Wine Chocolate.