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Oct 3, 2019
Adoption· Life

Adoption: 5 Myths Every Pro-Lifer Needs to Stop Believing

**This post contains affiliate or associate links with several businesses (which means if you shop through the links, I earn a small commission). As an Amazon Associate I earn from qualifying purchases.**

Many people who think abortion should be legal, or feel that abortion should be a “woman’s right” do not feel or want to believe adoption should enter the conversation.

Some pro-lifers or people in general feel strongly that a woman should NEVER place her child with an adoptive family.

And others feel as though everyone considering abortion should just start making an adoption plan.

Let me interrupt this extremely divided world to throw down some real talk.

Life is a miracle.

Not every situation we find ourselves in is easy.

Love is not easy.  Saint Gianna’s words about love hold a lot of truth:

“One cannot love without suffering or suffer without loving.”

 

We live in a culture that thinks we should avoid and eliminate all suffering.  But that is not how we are designed.

Abortion causes suffering to the unborn and to the mother.  It often causes suffering to the father, the grandparent (even if they are the ones who strongly suggested it in the first place). Some people embrace healing.  Others do not. A large number of abortions are done today with the idea that the child is suffering so this will end his or her suffering.

Adoption causes suffering.  It is often a choice made with a very heavy heart.  It is not easy.  It has been chosen in some cases under coercion (like some abortions).

Neither is ideal, but:

If we want to make abortion unthinkable, we need to be open to learn more about adoption.

We, as pro-lifers, need to be more educated about adoption.

Some pro-life volunteers still look down upon the idea that a woman is considering placing a baby with an adoptive family. Other pro-life advocates think they know who SHOULD place a child with an adoptive family.

We need to provide more support to women who are considering an adoption plan and to the women who have already chosen one.

We need to seek out birthmothers or first moms to volunteer at pregnancy resource centers.  We need to ask them to share their stories and listen to what they think women facing unplanned pregnancies need.

We need to remember that adoption should always be an option. We also need to learn a lot more about that option.

Adoption: 5 Myths Every Pro-Lifer Needs to Stop Believing

Myth #1: Adoption Is Not a Solution for Abortion

First of all, we all know it is not a “universal alternative to abortion” like one article suggests – but we do KNOW it is an alternative.

Let me re-assure you that adoption does save lives.  Callie Jet, Founder of Talk About Adoption, shares her story:

I walked away from my scheduled abortion procedure that day because I heard the truth about ADOPTION.”

Not only did Callie walk away from her abortion appointment because she heard about adoption, she started an entire organization because she believes whole heartedly that:

“parenting and adoption are the only rewarding options for an unplanned pregnancy”.

See more about Talk About Adoption on their website

Many people will tell you to stop talking about adoption.  If Callie’s testimony isn’t enough, Mother Teresa has some things to say about the topic too:

I will tell you something beautiful. We are fighting abortion by adoption – by care of the mother and adoption for her baby. We have saved thousands of lives

See Mother Teresa: A Saint for Adoptive Families

Now, let’s talk about foster care since I feel lots of people want to talk about that when we as pro-lifers bring up adoption.

Here’s a quote from an article titled: “Adoption Is Not a Universal Alternative to Abortion, No Matter What Anti-Choicers Say”

Currently, there are close to 400,000 children in state custody; only half have permanent plans for placement. Meanwhile, employees in protective services are underpaid and overworked, treading water to try to ensure that all of the children in their care are happy and healthy. Anyone who believes that adoption or foster care is a natural solution to growing restrictions on reproductive rights is kidding themselves.

Here’s the truth I don’t ever hear:  domestic infant adoption often prevents that 400,000 number from going up.

There are many women who had abortion appointments, canceled them and placed for adoption.

Some of those women were not going to legally be permitted to parent.  Some of these women were leaving the hospital without their babies – even though they would have been legally allowed to parent.  Those babies would have entered “the system” – but, the choice of adoption prevented that.

How come we don’t ever talk about that?  Do you doubt that happens?  Don’t.  It happens.  Trust me.

Myth 2: There is nothing you can do to lower the average cost of adoption

Pro-life groups, organizations and pregnancy centers have the capacity and the ability to lower the average cost of domestic infant adoption. How you ask?  Great question, let me explain.

The average cost of adoption using an agency is around $35,000.  The average cost of a private or independent adoption is around $12,000.

These are average costs. Some adoption agencies charge around 50 grand to match an adoptive couple with an expectant mother that chooses to place.  Some states allow potential adoptive parents to pay birthmother expenses and these numbers go up further.  Most adoption agencies do not include the cost of an adoption attorney in their cost.

Remember it costs nothing to Spiritually Adopt a Baby! (get your prayer by clicking here!!!)

Yes, adoption is expensive – but it doesn’t have to be.

Now, some states do not allow adoptions to occur without the help of an agency.  However, agencies do not need to charge over $35,000 to help a couple adopt (especially if the couple and the expectant mother found one another without the help of an agency).

Some states allow private or independent adoptions to occur without involving adoption agencies at all.

Most adoption costs with agencies go toward employee salaries and marketing and networking that goes into finding women who are considering adoption.

A crisis pregnancy center often runs on volunteers and women who desire to choose life are going there for help and guidance.  Many pregnancy centers are a part a larger pro-life group that is working hard to show abortion minded women that they can choose life. Many of them will enable women to see that not only can they choose life, but they desire to choose parenting.

But, there are some cases where a woman will ultimately decide not to parent.  Those women could be connected to couples within the pro-life community who feel called to adopt.

This connection saves couples tens of thousands of dollars.  And on top of that, the pregnancy resource center truly offered help to those who choose life and are discerning parenting and adoption.

I could write a whole post on this, but for now . . .

if you want more about adopting without an agency? Read  Pursuing an Adoption Without An Agency: What We Did Right

Dear Couple Considering Adoption

Let me talk more about that in the next myth.

Myth #3: Pro-Life leaders are properly educated about Adoption

The truth is, there is a lot the general population does not know or understand about adoption.

Mothers who chose to place their children with adoptive families are slowly emerging and speaking out.  Some felt very coerced into the choice.  Most feel judged and shamed.

Couples who choose to take the adoption route learn a lot when preparing for their home study.  Adults who grew up in multi-racial families have just recently started sharing their stories that address challenges no one thought to address a generation ago.

Almost no one truly understands that”open adoption” is a very broad term and that two “open-adoptions” can be very, very different.

If your pro-life agency, group or center has a conference this year – they should have an adoption related speaker.  They should have adoption speakers every year and at many training events.  The truth is, adoption is extremely complicated.  There are many viewpoints.  There is plenty to learn.

If you would like me to come speak, let’s connect!  See how on my About page!

Does your pro-life group know the adoption laws in your state?  Does your crisis pregnancy center have a volunteer or advocate that once placed a baby with an adoptive family?  Are volunteers still saying “give up” instead of “place?

Here is my concern: when abortion becomes more and more unthinkable, are we as active members of the pro-life community ready to support adoption?

I want us to be.

 

Myth #4: People only want to adopt healthy babies

Let me introduce you to Special Angels Adoption Advocates. 

Special Angels advocate for the adoption of special needs babies and toddlers. They help agencies and adoption professionals with adoption situations and help support birth families faced with the most difficult decisions of their lives. They also help adoptive families who are interested in adopting special needs infants and toddlers.
Special Angel Adoption Advocates was founded in 2008 and they have NEVER NOT found a family for a baby.
That is just one agency.  Plenty of regular adoption agencies place “unhealthy” babies with families each year.
This is just one fact that debunks the myth that “people only want to adopt healthy babies”.  I could talk more about this, but let’s save that for another day.

Myth #5:  Coercion and other ethical issues surrounding adoption are things of the past.

It is true that a long time ago many women who placed their babies with adoptive families did so unwillingly. I would say it happens less often now – however, there are still many ethical concerns that we need to be very aware of when it comes to adoption.

Personally, I have learned a lot in the past 8 years about how the line of ethics is skirted and crossed within adoption agencies.  I am not anti-adoption agency, but I have found that independent social workers and adoption attorneys label some agencies as ethical – which means some they view as unethical.  I’ve learned that even ones considered ethical do things like advertise counseling to potential birth mothers but in reality “have them sign a paper” which stated counseling was offered.  In my opinion, and I hope in yours, that should NEVER be the extent of counseling someone discerning an adoption plan should receive from an agency.  And again – that was an ethical agency!

This reason alone makes me want to invite and encourage crisis pregnancy centers to reach out more to women who want to seriously consider adoption.  Women choosing life need the counseling, guidance and support from centers that work to empower women to parent if that is their desire. Pro-life advocates can and will help them to truly see what help they can receive and what help they will need to seek elsewhere.  The adoption world needs these centers to get on board and be educated.

As for ethical issues, you don’t have to take my word for it.  The organization Arrow and Root recently published this blog post 3 Things to Ask an Adoption Professional.

This article is not for potential adoptive parents but for women considering an adoption plan for her unborn child. The goal of this post is to help the expectant mother find and work with an ethical professional.

I also suggest following adoptwell on Instagram.  I have more resources for you . . . again, another post or course session!

Would you like me to come speak at your pro-life conference?  I’d love to help your group start prepping for a nation and world that shouts their adoption plan rather than something else! Let’s talk! More details here: About Amy Brooks

Stay tuned.  I could write a blog post on each of the myths. I’m thinking and praying over creating a series on the blog, a course or a resource guide for crisis pregnancy centers and pro-life advocates.Let me know what you want and need . . . and sign up here to stay connected!

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Journal for tweens and teens

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Friendship can be confusing to tween and teens. th Friendship can be confusing to tween and teens. they hear “love one another” but are not taught that there are different kinds of love and that friendship is meant to be selective. Saint John Bosco left similar advice. He said:
“Fly from bad companions as from the bite of a poisonous snake. If you keep good companions, I can assure you that you will one day rejoice with the blessed in Heaven; whereas if you keep with those who are bad, you will become bad yourself, and you will be in danger of losing your soul.”
Yes, love! But love God above all and remember “Faithful friends are a sturdy shelter; whoever finds one finds a treasure” (Sirach 6:14). 
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I asked my husband if he could give me some sugges I asked my husband if he could give me some suggestions for Father’s Day Gifts and he said 3 books I was going to give our son for his birthday… which is the day before Father’s Day.
🤨🤔
Do you think they’ll appreciate a joint gift?

Do I just give them to my husband?
Do I give them to my son?

They do look pretty cool!

They were sent to me from Voyage Comics… link for their shop is in my bio!
As an associate of Voyage Comics, I earn on qualifying purchases.
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Decrease stress and increase prayer time! 20 inspi Decrease stress and increase prayer time! 20 inspirational, prayerful coloring pages available (link in bio).
Color outside, at Eucharistic Adoration, with your teens, tweens, kids, and friends !
Enjoy your summer and calm your soul!
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This is not a joke, I actually do this. I have a h This is not a joke, I actually do this.
I have a hard time answering God’s call to “be still@. Coloring as a way to slow down is such a great way for me to relax and meditate.
Plus, the feeling of nostalgia that I feel when color brings an added joy to my time with Jesus ❤️
Grab this coloring page and 19 more… link in my bio!
They’re an instant download!
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Let’s talk about Catholic gifts for men… My h Let’s talk about Catholic gifts for men…

My husband’s birthday was on Monday, and I was so excited to give him this book from Voyage Comics!

The truth is, him and I are both fans of this small Catholic business.

Our son loves their comic books too!

Catholic gifts for women often seem plentiful… but when it comes to men, well … shopping for them can be more of a challenge.

I love how the men over at Voyage Comics create extremely incredible content and works of art that entertain without compromising virtue.
I love that I can say to my son and other young people, “look, you can enjoy your work and give glory to God at the same time”!

If you want to give an inspiring gift for Father’s Day… and make your husband or dad smile that this handsome guy… definitely go shopping at Voyage Comics!
(Link in bio ~ Catholic Comic books)

In full disclosure, I was given some products in exchange for my honest review. Honestly… 5 STARS!
As an associate of Voyage Comics, I earn on qualifying purchases.
#Comicbooks #Catholicman #catholicgentleman #Catholicdad #bigbangtheory #thechristbearer #VoyageComics #CatholicSaint #Catholicgeeks #catholictheology #theology
Thank you God, for so many answered prayers and bl Thank you God, for so many answered prayers and blessings!
#Momlife #Catholiclife #Churchhistory #Catholichistory #Catholicart #Artmuseum #Rockysteps #Catholicmom #Catholiclife
Friends!!! Please join me in welcoming Katie home! Friends!!! Please join me in welcoming Katie home! Katie fully entered the Catholic Church on Sunday!

Katie was raised by wonderful Christian parents in the New Apostolic Church and I honestly want to really get her to share her conversion story.
Until then
I will say this… 

never hesitate to invite someone to pray the Rosary with you!

Katie embraced the Rosary as a Christian 
and funny story… I remember her holding it once and saying “I’m not converting “ as her Catholic husband walked by us 😂 

Truth be told, Katie has helped me pull off every single Prayer Wine Chocolate Retreat since the very beginning!

Watching her research and completing dive into the Word with her whole heart has been a beautiful, inspiring sight.

And quite frankly, between her and Mark Wahlburg… I think I hear about the Hallow app at least 3 times a day 😆.
Seriously @hallowapp , you should hire her 😉😜!
Welcome Katie and drop a hug emoji below!!!
Love you Katie @craftymom714 !!!!
#Catholicconvert #RCIA #Catholicfaith #Bibleinayear #stayprayedup
How can we love our identity and still be humble? How can we love our identity and still be humble?

Does that sound like a good title for a talk?

I’m working on a “Talk” on Identity (or a blog post if I chicken out 🐓)… and I’m really liking the topic of humility… along with modesty.
My plan was to post this morning and ask for your prayers… but along the way I saw that today is Saint Philip Neri’s feast day.
So, naturally, I googled “Saint Philip Neri humility”.
To my delight, I found this quote:

“Humility is the safeguard of chastity. In the matter of purity, there is no greater danger than not fearing the danger. 

For my part, when I find a man secure of himself and without fear, I give him up for lost. I am less alarmed for one who is tempted and who resists by avoiding the occasions, than for one who is not tempted and is not careful to avoid occasions. When a person puts himself in an occasion, saying, I shall not fall, it is an almost infallible sign that he will fall, and with great injury to his soul.”

I feel like some great message is coming together here, but, I need your prayers.

I mean, I don’t even know if posting about humility on Instagram is like, a total oxymoron?

I’m so thankful to have Scripture and the writing of Saints to help me. I’m also extremely grateful for your prayers.

May we both live as it is written in 1 Peter 5:5 ~
“And all of you, clothe yourselves with humility in your dealings with one another, for:
“God opposes the proud
but bestows favor on the humble.”
* if you like that Saint Philip Neri quote, you can see and share it over at @catholicsonline 

Do you have any questions or thoughts on humility?
Let me know in the comments!

Photo taken by @nadiapittmanphoto 📸 

#Catholicspeaker #Catholicauthor #Scripturequote #SacredScripture #humility #Saintquotes #Chastity #virtuouswoman #Catholics #InstaCatholic
Moms, have you ever heard someone say, “You’ve Moms, have you ever heard someone say, “You’ve got your hands full!”?

I have … and it’s usually very true!

I’m so excited to share this new belt bag from Be a Heart (@beaheartdesign )with you!

I chaperoned a field trip today and it made my whole experience more pleasant than if I brought a pocketbook or handbag!

I’m hoping to enjoy lots of adventures with my children this summer, so this will be such an incredible blessing!

I LOVE the Marian blue lining and it truly is lightweight and comfortable!
Use coupon code PRAYERWINECHOCOLATE when you shop at Be A Heart and you’ll save 10% off!

Link in bio!
In full disclosure, Be a Heart sent me this bag in exchange for my honest review… and I honestly love it!
📸 by @nadiapittmanphoto 
#CatholicMom #Catholicmother #Middleschoolmom #Tweenmom #Momlife #classicaleducation #Catholicmomma #Catholicwoman #Catholicshop #catholicyouthministry
Do our sons understand what it means to be a “sp Do our sons understand what it means to be a “spiritual warrior “? Do we?

I learned and relearned a ton of things writing Be Yourself: a Journal for Catholic Boys.

Here’s what we all need to know about being a “Spiritual Warrior “:

1. Yes, there is a battle between good and evil and we are all in the midst of it. Years ago, in cartoons, it was common to see a devil on one shoulder and an Angel on another. It was CLEAR which voice was good and which was evil. The animation gave us a visual of what we were very familiar with.  Today, we must work a little harder so that all of us are detecting what is good and what is evil.

2. You don’t walk out onto a battlefield unprepared.
You put on your suit of armor and you bring your weapon. You do this FIRST! Faith is our shield, prayer is our greatest weapon. In other words, God has to be number one if we want to truly protect our soul. Knowing God has to be not only a priority, but our first priority.

3. We are not alone, but not everyone is going to grow in virtue. The virtues are our “armor of light” that protect us from the enemy. We would be wise to follow the advice of St. Francis de Sales in this, “Love everyone with a strenuous love based on charity, but form friendships only with those who can share virtuous things with you.”
Want to help your son on the battlefield?
Get him a copy of this journal today!
Link in bio!
#spiritualwarfare #Catholicmom #Catholic
I did this in one take… and you can totally tell I did this in one take… and you can totally tell, I know.
FYI I saw this movie the theater and there were real nuns there 😂 
I seriously don’t know what hashtags are appropriate for this…
My son has 2 Be Yourself Journals… I asked him t My son has 2 Be Yourself Journals…
I asked him to show me his favorite page and he chose the “mad libs like” activity 😆.

Anyone who purchases 2 copies of Be Yourself: a Journal for Catholic Boys from me this weekend will get the Bible Study for Boys (7 lesson plans) for FREE!!!
Tag your friends that are youth ministers, ccd teachers, DRE’s, catechists and Catholic school teachers!

You could even use it for a VBS program for older kids!

I believe we need the be excited about our faith… especially when we present it to young people!

Our faith is FASCINATING! It’s EXCITING!
It’s anything BUT boring!

Let’s do this!!!

#Catholic #religiouseducation #Catholicyouth #metacatholic #DRE #Catholicdre #Catholicparish #Catholiclink #bustedhalo #Catholicsonline #bibleinayear #Catholictween #catechism #Catholicpriest #spiritualwarfare #Theology #theologyofthebody #babiesanddreams
Prayer of St. Thérèse of the Child Jesus O Jesu Prayer of St. Thérèse of the Child Jesus

O Jesus, I pray for your faithful and fervent priests;
for your unfaithful and tepid priests;
for your priests laboring at home or abroad in distant mission fields;
for your tempted priests;
for your lonely and desolate priests;
for your young priests;
for your dying priests;
for the souls of your priests in purgatory.

But above all, I recommend to you the priests dearest to me:
the priest who baptized me;
the priests who absolved me from my sins;
the priests at whose Masses I assisted and who gave me your Body and Blood in Holy Communion;
the priests who taught and instructed me;
all the priests to whom I am indebted in any other way (especially …).

O Jesus, keep them all close to your heart,
and bless them abundantly in time and in eternity.
Amen.
#Catholicprayers #CatholicSaints #prayforpriests #Catholic #praymore #audienceofone #prayer #prayerjournal #instainspiration
I dare you to comment below 3 to 5 things you are I dare you to comment below 3 to 5 things you are thanking God for today!!!
#answeredprayers #cultivategratitude #Catholicmom #Catholicsonline #Instamom #MomsofInstagram #CatholicChristian
I have a super sweet story to share with you! Las I have a super sweet story to share with you!

Last evening my husband and I decided that we were long overdue for praying a Rosary with the family.

We have friends searching for jobs that have asked us to pray and many others intentions.

Our kids were outside playing with a little girl who lives up the road.

I walked outside with a bunch of tangled up Rosaries (see reel I made yesterday) and told my 3 children they had to come in to pray the Rosary.

My daughter, who made this Rosary for me, asked if their friend could pray with us.

I said she was, of course, welcome to pray with us!

All 4 kids came inside and my son volunteered to lead the first decade. Our 9 year old guest led a decade too!

She stumbled a little with the words to the Hail Mary but by the end of her decade, I was so impressed.

Once we were done praying my husband complimented our young guest on how well she did.
It was such a beautiful, unexpected event.
What a great reminder… courtesy of my daughter in Kindergarten… to always invite others to pray with you!
#praywithothers #TheRosary #manyhailmarysatatime #HolyRosary #praytherosary #familyrosary #Catholickids #Praymore
Some people want to start prayer journaling, but t Some people want to start prayer journaling, but that first page intimidates them.
Here’s a way to start that it totally stress free!
#prayerjournal #prayerjournaling #Catholic #Catholicreels #JesusItrustinYou
We haven’t even started yet and there’s an iss We haven’t even started yet and there’s an issue 😂 🪢 
#familyrosary #prayingmama #signofthecross #Catholicreels
“I don’t even remember that”~ my Mom. When I “I don’t even remember that”~ my Mom.
When I told my mom how she inspired the title of the Be Yourself Journal, that was her response 😂.
As a tired Mama, I so appreciate this now.
It’s amazing what God’s grace and a mother’s love can do!
My mom felt bad that I felt left out. But, she was also tired and was probably in survival mode with 3 or 4 children at that point.
I get that now.
But God took what my mom didn’t say and placed in my heart the contents of the book I get to the author of!
I am finding so much relief in this realization today.
I often see my shortcomings as a Mother.
I’m tired.
I’m still disorganized like I was before motherhood.
But I do have faith in God and love for my children.
I believe that God knew exactly what He was doing when He chose me to be the mother of my children.
He knows my strengths and weaknesses.
His grace is sufficient… for all mothers.
Praise the Lord!
Happy Mother’s Day!

Share this post and remind others that it’s totally okay to not be perfect.
Keep loving!
#Catholic #Catholicmom #holy #faithful #babiesanddreams #mothersday
Did you know Our Lady of Fatima taught the three y Did you know Our Lady of Fatima taught the three young children a couple of prayers?

The Blessed Mother taught the children to offer all their personal sacrifices to God by praying:
O My Jesus, I offer this for love of Thee, for the conversion of sinners, and in reparation for the sins committed against the Immaculate Heart of Mary.

Another prayer Our Lady taught the children was:

O My Jesus, forgive us our sins, save us from the fires of Hell, lead all souls to Heaven, especially those in most need of Thy mercy.

I love how Our Blessed Mother encourages to us to start a prayer by addressing the Lord with these words:
“O my Jesus…”
One of my favorite prayers was taught to the Fatima children by an angel.
This is that prayer:

My God, I believe, I adore, I hope and I love Thee! I ask pardon for those who do not believe, do not adore, do not hope and do not love Thee.

Today, May 13th, is the feast of Our Lady of Fatima.
Our Lady of the Rosary, pray for us!

#Catholicprayer #prayerjournal #Catholicprayers #Catholic #prayerjournalprompts #OurLadyofFatima #Catholicwoman #Catholicwife #Catholicmom
Sometimes, when I go to Mass, the homily isn’t e Sometimes, when I go to Mass, the homily isn’t exactly stellar…

But bread and wine become the Body and Blood of Jesus Christ through the power of the Holy Spirit.

Sometimes, when I attend Mass, the other people in the pews don’t participate in the prayers or sing the hymns…

But bread and wine become the Body and Blood of Jesus Christ through the power of the Holy Spirit and the instrumentality of the priest. The whole Christ is truly present.

Sometimes, when I’m at Mass my own mind wanders and I’m distracted by children who can’t sit still…

But bread and wine become the Body and Blood of Jesus Christ through the power of the Holy Spirit.

An incredible miracle happens at every Catholic Mass… 

The whole Christ is truly present -- body, blood, soul, and divinity -- under the appearances of bread and wine, the glorified Christ who rose from the dead. This is what the Church means when she speaks of the "Real Presence" of Christ in the Eucharist.

The Eucharist is the body of Jesus Christ, which was given up for me and you.

#RealPresence #Eucharisticrevival #EucharisticAdoration #CatholicInspiration #Catholicchurch #HolyEucharist #HolyCommunion #Catholicblog #prayerjournal
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