infertility Archives - Prayer Wine Chocolate

Gifts Inspired by Saint Gianna

Amy — Tue, 18 Feb 2020 18:37:09 +0000

This post contains affiliate or associate links with several businesses (which means if you shop through the links, I earn a small commission). As an Amazon Associate I earn from qualifying purchases.

Saint Gianna is a wonderful soul to go to when we desire extra prayers.

Many women who hope to become mothers pray to Saint Gianna and ask for her intercession.

Personally, my husband and I asked for Saint Gianna to help heal our newborn while he was in the NICU for the first 6 weeks of his life. We taped a Saint Gianna holy card to the back of his name sign on his hospital crib, and we believe she prayed for him fervently. He’s now a healthy 7 year old boy preparing to make his First Holy Communion! Praise the Lord! (We received our holy card when we visited the shrine in Warminster, PA)

Our daughter’s name is Jaina. The name Gianna is of Italian and Hebrew origin, and the meaning of Gianna is “God is gracious” and is the feminine of Gianni and Jane, from John. Knowing this, my husband and I have chosen Gianna to be her patron saint. I’m sure she will pick some patron saints of her own as she grows, but for now – we ask Saint Gianna to pray for her!

Perhaps you have a friend who just had a baby girl named her after Saint Gianna;

Or you know a woman praying to become a mother or pregnant and praying for a healthy birth and pregancy;

or you were asked to be a Confirmation Sponsor and the young woman chose Gianna as her Confirmation name – and you want to give a meaningful gift.
Well, I’m here to help.

If you are looking for Catholic gifts in general, I strongly recommend checking out CatholicsOnline.net! It’s a directory of Catholics that includes artisans and businesses!

Here are some gifts inspired by Saint Gianna! The first is a beautiful gift for any woman! Some listed are great for young children, others like the sticker, bracelet, and journal are all excellent Confirmation gifts!

A gorgeous gift box and Pillar and Pearl!

Inspired by her quote, “Whatever God wants,” this box is dedicated in honor of St. Gianna Beretta Molla, who is the first canonized “working mother.” The patron saint of physicians, mothers, and unborn children, Gianna’s life was an example of true pro-life values and of sacrifice for family, and this box aims to encourage those who receive it to live the same way.

A simple, rustic print Intercessory Saint Prayer Sign

A Saint Gianna Quote Print

Unique Holy Cards

Saint Gianna Holy Card for Kids

A Saint Gianna Shining Light Doll

This adorable little doll is safe for babies, toddlers and children of all ages!

Tiny Saints Charm

Add the charm to a paracord necklace or clip on backpacks, lunch boxes, purses, key chains or attach them to a Confirmation or Communion gift, or the rosary and create a personalized look with saints, popes, and Jesus and Mary. You can even make a bracelet or necklace out of them!

A Wooden Medal Bracelet

This design is available on a bracelet, necklace and T-shirt!

Stickers

I love this option for the young girl or teen about to receive her Confirmation!

Whatever God Wants Heart Sticker

Saint Gianna Journal

Gifts for Adults

Daily Task Tea Towel

A book about Saint Gianna. This book, Journey of Our Love, is Gianna Emmanuela’s favorite book about here Saint Mom!

Between 1955-1962, Saint Gianna Beretta and her husband Pietro Molla corresponded through a series of letters, collected here. Touching, inspiring, and refreshingly human, their exchanges reflect the everyday experiences and the abounding love of a modern day couple, revealing that the way of holiness can unfold in the midst of this world. From balancing work and family life, to dealing with a long-distance relationship, to parenting, to coping with illness and death, Gianna and Pietro conquered it all. But none of it was accomplished without tremendous trust in each other–and in God.

Wall Decor

These three prints from Sweet Little Ones are so clean and simple, love them!

Meyer Market Designs

has a variety o Saint Gianna products that are really cute! They include

Stickers

Stuffed Saint Gianna doll

Decorative Pillow cases and more!

Want to read more about Saint Gianna?

5 Lessons I Learned from The Daughter of a Saint

Looking for more Catholic gifts? Check out CatholicsOnline.net for a ton of inspiration!

The post Gifts Inspired by Saint Gianna appeared first on Prayer Wine Chocolate.

Dear Beautiful Woman Longing to Be a Mother

Amy — Fri, 11 May 2018 16:06:26 +0000

Dear Beautiful Woman Longing to Be a Mother

I feel compelled to write to you . . . because boy, I remember being there.

I recall thinking about how I “played house” as a child. I wanted more children than my playmates. They wanted a “boy and a girl” . . .I wanted at least five.

I remembered that one year Santa brought me a cradle and a doll and lots of clothes and the baby bottle. It was probably my favorite gift.

Motherhood was something I longed for my whole life.

And there I was . . . finally married and month after month,

devastated and disappointed.

I dedicated my adult life to helping young people. I worked as a summer camp counselor, a coach and I was a teacher.

I prayed that God would make me a mother and asked other people to pray for me too.

Why was He not answering that prayer? Why was it even a struggle . . . I mean every month I’m reminded that I do “have the parts!!!”

I remember one Sister of Saint Joseph advised me to “shake my fists” at God and let Him know I’m angry! So, if a nun told me to do it – I’m going to share that advice with you.

It must be okay to “shake your fists” at God if a nun said to do it, right???

Do you have the people who say “just stop trying and it will happen”?

Forgive them, they just have no idea. Forgive them, but by all means, also walk away from them . . . because ain’t nothing good coming out of that conversation if you stay.

Do you have the people telling you to relax and signing you up for yoga classes with them and gifting you massages and wine to “help you relax”?

I had that . . . I took the gifts and the classes and enjoyed the time with the friend (actually that was my mom) and didn’t bring up that I knew she had an alterior motive.

And p.s. I can’t relax, it’s not in my DNA. So yes, we should do things like take time to go to Adoration, pray the Rosary and stop working once in a while – but not only because we want to be moms – but because it’s good for our overall health. Do we tell sick people to relax though? No, because it’s rediculous. Someone needs to tell the person who said “just relax” that you don’t say that to someone with a medical condition – like diabetes or infertility!

To the person who is bold enough to say to you “just relax”. Kindly say goodbye to them for awhile, because there is no way you can “relax” around someone who says that to you when your pouring your heart out and that is the response you get.

Do you have that pain in your chest that not only hurts but feels like this incredibly heavy burden?

I had that. When all the students left for the day, I closed the classroom door and cried at my desk. You have got to let it out. I let it out by crying. I let it out by writing God a letter. I told Him all the reasons why I wanted to be a mom. Whenever I am dealing with something heavy that lingers, I write to God. It really helps. I even once wrote about my children I dreamed of having … I wrote about 3 children . . . I now have 3 children (twilight zone music?).

5 Benefits of Prayer Journaling

WHEN DO REAL WOMEN FIND TIME TO PRAYER JOURNAL?

Do you have the friends showing up that truly understand infertility and show you they understand?

Hug these people. They are amazing. Women that I lost touch with over the years or who were only just acquaintances flocked to me with love and compassion. I remember one telling me she was so glad she got a dog when she was going through it. I had friends from high school who I really had not talked to in years reach out to me with such kindness. Some said they stopped going to baby showers and told me that was ok. Personally, I never minded going to baby showers . . .I thought, they’ll all be at mine someday. But – these women had empathy and with that empathy came some comfort. Welcome them if you don’t already. If you already do – spend time with them when you can.

Do you have a husband that is also bummed, sad or even depressed?

Hugs help. Taking a weekend trip to do something that interests you both are good to do – even if you wish you were going to a pumpkin patch or Sesame Place with a child instead. Spend time together and write seperate bucket lists. Write a list of all the things you will do once you are blessed with your child or children. That list will have the pumpkin patch, the family walks, the Christmas mornings, etc. But write a “couples only” bucket list. Not everything is kid friendly! Write the movie dates, the wine tasting trips, hiking on the coast of Maine or rock climbing. Things you’d love to do together, but totally not child appropriate! And honestly, your husband and yourself have different interests too. Write a list of what you really want to do, but he has no desire to do it. Perhaps start crossing off some things on the two bucket lists that don’t involve children while you wait.

(want more ideas of what to do while you wait, check out my list here: Waiting Without Worrying )

Do you often find yourself looking up and asking God, “WHY????????”

I remember talking to God and saying –

ya know, I’m asking for a job not a million dollars!!! I know it will be work! AND You know I will teach them to love you! Help me out will ya???

I remember going to Mass and seeing all the families, then having to endure a homily that compared faith to parenting.

Really God??? Thanks

Then we started the adoption process and we would be matched, be happy and then the mom would choose parenting, so then we felt sad again. Then we might see other people adopt . . . and then we wondered, why not us.

I remember thinking Lord, I will LOVE ANY CHILD YOU GIVE ME!

Do you sometimes hear the voice that says, “maybe your not meant to be a mom”?

Please don’t listen to that voice. If infertility has exhausted you, and your heart feels like their is a piece missing. Please consider adoption. I realize that can be annoying when some people bring up adoption – but we now have children. I am now a mom. God gave me infertility so that I would be blessed with three amazing souls. Before we adopted, I talked to a woman in our parish who adopted. She told me, “I thank God for infertility everyday!” She said that because the love she has for her adopted children really can not be put into words.

I didn’t “get it” when she said that the way I “get it” now.

My children needed me to be their mommy. I’m so grateful my husband was open to it and he agrees, they are an incredible gift. We truly believe we are the luckiest parents in the world.

Be open to the thought and ask God to “open all the right doors and close all the wrong ones”. I actually heard Joel Olsteen say that once and made it a personal prayer. It really helped me.

Infertility: Carrying the Cross with Hope

Do you want to stop reading these letters and just be a mommy?

I understand. I remember. Please don’t stop praying and consider starting a Rosary group. Before praying the Rosary, voice this intention. You know the promises of the Rosary . .

Mary keeps her promises.

Praying for you and sending you a hug,

Amy
Five Reasons to Start a Rosary Group

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From Cross to Blessing: 3 Hardships that Actually Make Life Better

Amy — Mon, 27 Mar 2017 16:34:58 +0000

Have you ever gone through a time in your life where you just wished you could see how it all worked out in the future?
Often when we struggle, we hear people say, “Everything happens for a reason.”

I have refrained from punching those people many times.

You?

There were times in my life where I wished I could fast-forward, or at least look into a magic mirror and see how it all panned out.

I wonder if that is why some say with age comes wisdom. We are not able to look ahead, but we are able to look back. As I look back, I see the fruit the struggles bore . . . and I see how some crosses were actually blessings.

If you know of anyone carrying similar crosses now, please share my story with them and give them a glimpse of what the future might look like . . . I know when I was going through it, stories of hope found in Chicken Soup for the Soul – or anywhere else I could find them, helped me keep the faith and dream of better days.

This weekend I told a priest that my cross of infertility was actually a blessing, because it brought us our son. He responded that all our crosses are blessings, it’s just sometime we can actually see the blessing.

Hmmmm . . .

I know some crosses seem to have no silver lining, but I can recall some major challenges that brought me tears and many prayers of “why?” to God. Probably the first heavy cross I remember carrying started in elementary school and lasted until I was almost 16. That one was . . .

Being a nerd.

I remember being lonely. I was often rejected. I was made fun of. I was not cool.

I was not pretty. I was not talented.

It hurt. It lasted years. I eventually tried to fit in by cursing like a sailor, smoking an occasional cigarette and eventually acting angry all the time. I think as a young teen, anger demanded more respect than crying all the time.

But thankfully, a thought entered my mind around the age of 15. That thought was, when things upset you – you can choose to be angry or sad. Angry people hurt people.

I didn’t want to hurt anyone. I knew what it was like to be hurt.

Being a nerd taught me empathy.

I became extremely sensitive to those who did not fit in with the crowd. I found myself defending others. Sometimes, I found myself not defending others – and my conscience knew to point those time out to me. I found myself no longer being the extremely shy girl I once was . . . to the girl that offered her friendship and attention.

I wish I could talk to every young girl going through something similar now. I would assure them that God has a mission for them – to love the unloved; and this is His training. This reference may be lost on some readers, but I can’t help but think of the movie the Karate Kid. “Daniel son” was told to wash cars and paint a fence – and all he wanted to do was learn Karate. He respected Mr. Miyagi – the teacher – but questioned, “when will I learn Karate?” He then was shown how he was learning Karate . . . “wax on, wax off” and “paint the fence” were actually Karate moves of defense.

Being a nerd helped me develop a strong character. I learned to act out of sympathy and love – and not out of a need for the approval of others.

Being Single and Depressed.

In my 20’s I lived in at least 5 apartments. I had roommates that moved in and out .. . and most of them moved out because they got engaged and married. I ended up living alone for a little while. I remember how depressing it was to eat dinner alone. I remember wondering if anything happened to me . . . how many days would it take friends or family to even notice. As I write this I can’t believe how sad I was . . . thank God that time has passed.

It was during the time I lived in my own apartment that I started prayer journaling and a group of us started praying the Rosary together.

Those times when I felt like I had no one – I clung to the One who loves me more than I can imagine, and who is truly always with us.

In that prayer journal that I started in this time of my life . . . I wrote an idea for a book for young girls (inspired by my previous cross). I titled the book, “Be Yourself: A Journal for Young Girls”. Although the title is slightly different, that book has been written, a contract with a publisher has been signed, and pre-sales begin April 17th!!!

Not only did grow closer to Our Lord by using a journal to help me pray; this time period allowed me to make friends that I still pray with and care for. And in addition to those amazing blessings, I wrote a book!

If you are interested in purchasing this book and what to know when it is available; subscribe to our email list!!!

Infertility

I wrote about this cross being a blessing here: Infertility: Carrying the Cross with Hope.

Before I became a mother, I talked to a woman named Jeanne who adopted all three of her children on the phone about adoption. Jeanne assured me that she

Thanks God for infertility at least 3 times a day.

I never forgot those words.

My husband and I love our son more than we could imagine loving anyone – ever. He is such a gift to us from God. We are so grateful that we are his parents. Adoption made me a very lucky momma!

I hope that whatever cross you are bearing passes soon. Until then, remember . . .

Don’t punch the “everything happens for a reason” people in the face.

Sincerely,

Amy

The post From Cross to Blessing: 3 Hardships that Actually Make Life Better appeared first on Prayer Wine Chocolate.

Infertility: Carrying the Cross with Hope

Amy — Fri, 06 May 2016 20:17:51 +0000

This post contains affiliate links. Please see my About Me page for details.

“Don’t know what you’ve got, til it’s gone.”

“The grass is always greener on the other side.”

We never know the worth of water till the well is dry. Thomas Fuller

Health in not valued until sickness comes.” Thomas Fuller

Numerous sources say one in eight couples battle infertility.

I couldn’t tell you how many people I spoke to when we were in the beginning of the battle that shook their heads and said something like,

“so many people are having trouble getting pregnant”.

Some offered reasons why (women get married later was a common one);

some would say, “it’s not fair”;

others would just shake their heads and say that they just don’t get it.

I feel like I get it.

The Lord loves us. All of us. The Lord desires us to know Him, Love Him and serve Him. Those of us trying our best to see His will in our trials, see His love – not only for ourselves but for all of humanity.

God put me in this world at this time and in this place on purpose.

It doesn’t take long to see the mixed view of fertility and pregnancy in our culture. Everywhere I look, I see signs that speak of “birth-control”; I hear about pills, devices and shots that will allow a woman to “not worry that much about getting pregnant”.

I don’t have to look much further to hear about another woman who desires pregnancy and is “not having luck”.

Those of us that struggle with infertility – that carry the cross of infertility – know: fertility is a GIFT. Pregnancy is a miracle.

And yet, according to prochoice.org, “If current rates continue, it is estimated that 35% of all women of reproductive age in America today will have had an abortion by the time they reach the age of 45.”

God wants us to know the truth.

Pregnancy is not an illness. Fertility is a gift. Conception is a miracle.

This truth has been an absolute truth for all of human history. Somewhere along the way, we as a people, lost knowledge of that truth.

Infertility is a cross that is reminding many of us that fertility is a gift. Fertility is a sign of health.

Since I was a little girl I dreamed of having children. I would play house with my friends and we would all share our visions of our grown up families. I remember they would say, “I have two kids”. I would say, “I have five!”.

But I not only dreamed of loving a husband and children as a child, I also wanted to love the Lord. If this cross helps others to see His truth, I will carry it.

At first, carrying the cross of infertility was so difficult and heavy. In many ways, I was tempted to not carry it much further. I think about 100 women might have volunteered to be a surrogate for Matt and I. But in my heart, I heard God say, “that is not My will for you.”

I carried on further. I found a silver-lining. NFP and the Creighton-Model of Fertility. This scientific, extremely helpful means of getting to know my cycle revealed to me what my regular OB-Gyn did not – I have PCOS. I underwent laparoscopic surgery where several other problems were resolved. For the first time in my life, I began having a regular menstrual cycle. This model of fertility charting could be one of our country’s best kept secrets. This charting not only helps 80% of the couples who desire pregnancy to achieve one, but also determines the dangers of miscarriage and post-partum in ways that can prevent and treat the woman pro-actively. If you haven’t already, I strongly recommend looking into it.

But for me, no pregnancy.

I think if we continued to pursue that avenue, pregnancy might have occurred – but a voice kept getting louder and louder. I could not longer ignore it.

The voice repeated: Adoption.

Lucky for me, my husband embraced the idea. Lucky for us, we were chosen to be the parents of the most amazing soul I have ever laid eyes upon.

Still, every month, I hoped. And every month, I was disappointed.

Then the voice came back: Adopt again.

I still hear this voice. And the doors that keep opening are incredible. Doors I never knew existed!

But as I wait, the Lord is not silent. He is not just opening doors so that Matt and I can have another child. He is not just opening doors so that our son will have a sibling. The Lord is opening doors so that I tell the world about what is behind them!

How is a young woman, facing an unplanned pregnancy, going to choose life if she doesn’t know about the resources, help and aid there is out there? How is a woman or man, who gets a call from a dear friend saying, “I’m pregnant, and I don’t think I’m ready” going to respond with sound advice, if he or she only knows that abortion is an option – but doesn’t know where else their friend can turn for support?

If Our Lord wants me to spread the word about the help that Pro-Life centers offer, the aide that crisis pregnancy centers give and the doors that could offer a better life for each of these women – I will do it! Had I not been carrying this cross of infertility, I may have never discovered them myself.

The Lord will bring our family another child – in His time. While I wait, I will share the news – there is help!

Every woman that is considering an abortion right now has two voices playing over an over again in her head.

“The abortion will solve my problem.”

and

“Getting an abortion isn’t right.”

She then looks to others for help. How much more loving it is to be able to offer other solutions to the “problem”.

Will you help be one of these voices?

I pray that through my cross, people come to know better the worth of fertility and come to value it a lot more than we presently do as a nation and world.

Dear Beautiful Woman Considering an Abortion

Waiting Without Worrying

Are you considering adoption? Join our group on Facebook for prayer, support, a safe place to ask questions and to know you are not alone! The Rose Garden (adoption support group)

Since I originally wrote this post, God blessed us two more times – with twins! God is so good! Let’s stay connected, click on the picture to subscribe!

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Prayer, Wine, Chocolate, Easter.

Amy — Mon, 21 Mar 2016 12:40:21 +0000

For years my husband and I longed to have children. When holidays came around, our desire for a family intensified. It didn’t seem right for two adults to sit around dying Easter eggs. The absence of a child was, well . . .a downer.

In our effort to keep our spirits high, my husband and I gave one another Easter baskets.

And now, we have a child! And this year, finally . . . he’s old enough to “get it”. I am not sure how I can explain the excitement I had when I walked into Stutz Candy Shop!

I love gift giving. I love gift shopping. And now I have real reason to do both on Easter.

But as I walk around the store, I see gift ideas for my son, for all of my friends’ daughters, for my grown up friends, for my husband and for me.

If you need or want ideas for a grown man’s Easter Basket . . . I got you covered with a whole other post! Check out Men and Diabetics like Easter Baskets Too!

We are lucky enough to be invited several places on Easter. Giving a hostess gift is always a great way to say thank you, and walking around Stutz Candy provided some unique ideas.

Some of the following are affiliate links for which I am compensated. I try to keep these relevant and few in number, but they help me to continue to provide this service.

For Women – Young and Older:

Candy Coated Chocolate Seashells – When I saw these I immediately thought of five different people I wanted to give them too. Any beach lover would love these – especially since we are getting closer to ideal beach weather!

Easter/Spring decorated Chocolate Covered Pretzels – I had planned on giving these as a hostess gift, but after taking several pictures they fell and broke open. I thought, well, I’ll eat one and re-package the others. They are gone. I think I might have to order more . . .

Brix Chocolate for Wine Pairing – I love this chocolate, especially since it tells you which chocolate goes with which wine on the box! Perfect to give a friend, girlfriend, wife, or hostess with a bottle of wine!

Little Lessons from St. Therese of Lisieux Book – This book is an absolute treasure! Appropriate for an older daughter or even a Mom, Aunt, Grandmother, Goddaughter or friend. If you like to put books in Easter baskets, I highly recommend this book for any daughter ages 12 and up. I also think it would make an adult Easter basket look absolutely stunning – and adds prayer to the wine and chocolate already in there

Mystic Monk Tea or Coffee – Some people enjoy a cup of tea more than a glass of wine. This is the perfect alternative. And I love how it was prayerfully made by monks!

A bottle of wine.

A pre-made Easter Basket – Some people don’t enjoy the shopping and putting the Easter Basket together part. I have to admit, sometimes it’s frustrating when you have an idea in mind of how you want it to look – and it doesn’t turn out that way! And since we are down to the wire with time – this may be the best way to go!! Easter Basket Ready to Gift!

For Children:

Candy that looks like legos! Yes! I was so excited when I saw this! Our son doesn’t play with legos yet, but I know he will be so excited about this candy! I imagine a lego fan would LOVE these!

The Little Flower: A Parable about St. Therese – This book is stunning and has the most beautiful, uplifting message. This is the perfect gift for a little girl – ages 1 day to 10 years old. I wrote a whole post about it here: Beautiful Little Flowers: The Little Flower Book Review.

Books for boys and girls – Press Here is a great one! So is Pete the Cat: I Love My White Shoes. When we are at story time in the library, 20 three year olds are totally silent and mesmerized by this book!

A Chocolate Easter Bunny – I love how Stutz has so many choices – including an Easter Bunny on a motorcycle! I also love how Stutz has a variety of chocolate crosses as well.

Stickers! – Stickers are so fun – and not expensive at all!

Retro Candy – What a fun way to walk down memory lane with our kids!

Lamb Prayer Buddy – Adding a stuffed animal to an Easter Basket gives it a little more love. This stuffed animal reminds us who the holiday is about and is simply adorable! This stuffed animal is great for boys and girls – and all ages!

And before I go . . .

HAPPY EASTER! I hope you have a wonderful time celebrating the Lord’s Resurrection!

I also hope you enjoy dying Easter Eggs, seeing family, participating in egg hunts and eating candy :). I am sure that if you have children, I do not have to remind you that they are the greatest blessing from above. I do ask you to remember that some couples are still hoping and praying to be blessed with children – so holidays can be tough. If you know a couple, please consider giving them a little something – a little extra love – and most importantly – words of hope and prayers for God to bless them with a child or children to love.

And post those Easter Egg pics! Those pastel colors make the world a little brighter!

God Bless!

Love and Prayers,

Amy <3

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Waiting Without Worrying

Amy — Sun, 04 Oct 2015 02:39:02 +0000

Waiting. The sheer thought of it is boring. Waiting in line. Waiting for test results. Waiting for prayers to be answered. Waiting for dreams to come true. Waiting for “this to shall pass” because, whatever it is, it sucks. I feel like God put me in “Waiting Boot Camp” several times in my life.

Waiting to meet the man of my dreams.

Waiting to become a mother.

Waiting to see if and when we will be blessed with another child.

The latter is where I am now. The first time, I didn’t play “the waiting game” right. The second time I learned a few positive ways to cope. This time around, I’m waiting better than I did before. Hopefully the lessons I’ve learned will help you not just get through the waiting, but enjoy the journey (as much as possible). Here are “the lessons” that I am following so I spend less time sulking (I did a lot of sulking), and more time believing that whatever “it” is, it will happen.

Lesson # 1: Stop obsessing about money. Yes, adoption is expensive, and yes, you’ll have to have some kind of financial plan. However, OBSESSING over money can lead you to not do things that will be good to do in the mean time. Find a balance. Take a trip – one you can afford. I would have loved to gone to Italy, but instead we planned a trip to a bed and breakfast about an hour away. We got a great room with a great view. We had a wine and cheese dish delivered to our room. I pretended to be in Italy. It was great.

Lesson# 2: Make TWO bucket lists – or THREE even. When I was single, the only things I thought I wanted to do ever were with a boyfriend or a fiancé or a husband. Did I think I would always want to do couples things and never have a girls’ night (or day) out??? When I was waiting to become a mom, I think I daydreamed about going to a pumpkin patch with my child every day. Every.single.day. Why was I obsessed with the pumpkin patch? Ok, it is awesome and I’ll probably take Xavier twice this year at least – but, I should not have fixated on events and adventures that were family oriented. When Matt and I first were married, we started to talk about hiking along the coast of Maine. It still sounds awesome to me. However, Matt has recently discovered that he has a fear of heights, and often experiences vertigo along with it. I still want to hike the coast of Maine – but I think Matt’s out on that one. Why did I not hike more before I met him? My point is – have separate bucket lists – and attempt to check some things off while you wait.

“As a couple” Bucket List- Go to the movies, go out to dinner, Go away for a weekend, etc., ski, parasail, go to Italy

“As a family” Bucket List- Pumpkin patch, Disney world.

Bucket List for you (with or without somebody else!)– Hike the coast of Maine, Go to Italy, Disney World

Lesson # 3: Keep praying. Go to adoration – and if your there for a whole hour crying and don’t say one prayer – that’s ok. Longing for someone can really be tough, and it’s okay to be sad sometimes. Just try not to let it linger all day, every day. Ask the Lord for what you want specifically. Write him a big long detailed letter. Light a candle in a church. Ask other people to pray for you. Ask nuns, priests, friends, family, saints. But also include gratitude in your prayers. My friend once told me to think of five things I am grateful for every night. There were nights when I was so down I could only think of three – so than think of three. There were times were things like “Sprite” were on my list. Whatever. Honestly, I have been doing this for most of this year. I’m almost always thankful for my bed. I love my bed. Whatever it is that you can feel thankful for – think of it . . . and thank God for it.

Lesson #4: Read books and stories that will make you laugh and lift your spirits. This is something I found great comfort in when we waited to adopt the first time around. I loved reading books like Chicken Soup for the Soul: Miracles Happen and other editions that told stories of hope and answered prayers. After we adopted our son, I read the book Instant Mom by Nia Vardalos. I love this book. Nia tells her story about how she became famous and how she became a mom, and neither journey was even close to being easy. Nia is a riot! She cracked me up, but also shared moments that will really touch your heart. Plus she tells the story like your sitting across from her having coffee. I honestly felt like we were bff’s after I read the book. Laughter is the best medicine! I don’t get to read much, but I hope to read books by Tina Fey and Amy Poehler. And if you’re to tired to read, watch an entire stand up of Brian Regan – he’s hilarious!

Lesson #5: Enroll in a class or a degree program. I am so thankful I did this before I was a mom! After being married a couple years I decided I really should get my Master’s Degree. I was looking into a program for Reading Specialist when I also discovered a graduate history program. After thinking about both, I decided it was important for me to enjoy the journey. Reading and studying history was much more appealing to me than reading about reading. I’m not sure I can express how happy I am that I did this. We had intense reading assignments – which were great distractions from whatever I was going through. Going to class was like belonging to a book club. I loved it, and when Xavier was a baby – I finally finished. I am so happy and grateful that I not only earned a Master’s Degree, but I enjoyed working for it as well.

Lesson #6: Don’t stop running, or doing Zumba, or kickboxing, or swimming, or whatever exercise you can somewhat enjoy. We all need exercise. I recently saw a shirt that says, “I run to burn off the crazy”. I need this shirt. This is why I run. It really helps my mental health as well as my physical health. I still need to remind myself to do this more. If I could go back to being pre-mom Amy, I would also smack myself at my “Awww, all the babies in running strollers”. Guess what. Running with a stroller isn’t as fun as running alone (as far as running is “fun” to begin with anyway).

Lesson #7: Listen to other people’s advice. Now, trust me, I understand. If one more person told me I needed to relax I may have punched them . . .but, let’s be honest . . . I do need to relax. People are annoying, but often it comes from a good place. Try to walk away with something you can actually apply to your life. Remember when I talked about wanting to hike? Well, when I was single and depressed I went to counseling. My therapist encouraged me to join this group known as the Sierra club. You know what they do a lot of? Hiking. When my therapist suggested this I thought, (now read this very sarcastically) “ok, yeah, sure.” Should of done it.

Lesson #8: Work at something you can feel passionate about. I am so grateful that I was a teacher for fourteen years. I really enjoyed the subjects I taught and creating unique lessons and fun ways to teach. I was able to lose myself in my work. If I worked at a job that didn’t ignite that fire in me, I know I would have had a rougher time. If your job doesn’t exactly “light your fire”, find somewhere that can use a volunteer. If you are waiting to adopt, try places where you may make a connection – but even if you don’t, you’ll make a difference in someone’s life. Drug and rehab facilities often need volunteers, crisis pregnancy centers and Project Cuddle – which is seeking to be a national organization- are just some places that may really need someone just like you. If none of this “floats” your boat – try transforming a space or room in your home. After our fourth failed match, I lost myself in sprucing up our patio. It really was a good distraction and I felt productive when it was done.

Lesson #9: Since this article is geared toward waiting for a child through adoption, I strongly suggest spiritually adopting a baby. Our family did this and I am so convinced that this prayer works that I am going to write a whole different article on it. I know going through infertility is tough, and wanting to be a mom or dad so badly is painful. But our cross is not the cross of a young woman considering abortion. Where ever someone is that is planning to abort, she is not in a good place. It’s not happy or joyous. Whatever she is going through – she needs prayers too. The spiritual adoption is prayer is short and sweet – so it’s easy to add another thought of hope for the mother as well. The following link will bring you to a download. We printed it, filled it out and hung it on our refrigerator. It reminds us to pray it right after Grace Before Meals at dinner.

Spiritual Adoption Prayer

“Jesus, Mary, and Joseph, I love you very much. I beg of you to spare the life of (give the baby a name), the unborn baby I have spiritually adopted, who is in danger of abortion. Amen.” —Venerable Archbishop Fulton J. Sheen

In case you want to read more about how powerful this prayer is:

God Hears Us: A Spiritual Adoption Miracle {Free Printable}

Of course, these are just lessons I have learned . . . so far. If you have some advice to share on how to “wait more gracefully”, please, share! Adoptive parents have a road only other adoptive parents understand. But please believe, good things come to those who wait!

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