This post contains affiliate links.  Please see my About Me page for more details.

I just got my very first Iphone – and it was nice enough to inform me how long I spent on social media the first day I used it.

Wow, that was a rude awakening.

Wayyyyyy to many hours.

I have a feeling I am not alone.

If you are like me, you know that we look at our phones more than we should – and although we don’t want to give them up entirely, we want to be present and attentive to the people and gifts that are with us in the real world more than the virtual world.

Although I’m still trying to find and embrace the right balance, I want to share some strategies that have really worked for me when I implement them.

Ways to decrease social media use and be more present

1. Take a moment to pray before you go on any social media platform.

Before getting the new phone, I changed my lock screen from a picture of my husband and son to a new prayer.

This is a prayer that I wrote and Sara, from To Jesus Sincerely, designed for our work over at CatholicsOnline.net.

This lock screen/wallpaper is totally free.  I can honestly say it made a difference on the amount of time I spent online and made me more aware of the time I spent on Instagram, Facebook and Pinterest.

There were times when I picked up my phone, saw the prayer and thought . . . what am I doing, I need to be doing (fill in the blank) not looking at my phone.  Just the image of the prayer gave a moment to process what I was doing.  It’s crazy, I pick it up subconsciously and this prayer “woke me up” a few times.

Other times I would pray the prayer, go on, and notice I wouldn’t stay on as long as I had in the past.

I need to get it on my new phone ASAP.

I created this because I know there were many times I have been on Facebook and something was posted that changed my emotional state so much it actually impacted my entire day.

That shouldn’t happen.  Saint John of the Cross, Padre Pio and Saint Teresa Avila all have quotes that tell us to not let anything disturb our peace!

We need to remember this.  I need to remember this.  Taking a moment to open our minds and hearts to Our Lord before entering the social media world allows us to be guided by the Holy Spirit while we are there.

2. Use strategies to stay off the gram, Facebook, etc.

I often put my phone upstairs when I am downstairs (or vice versa).  I also use a timer where I tell myself, “you need to do the dishes, clean the kitchen and blah blah blah” for this amount of time WITHOUT looking at your phone.  (Now you know – I’m an addict).

These strategies work for me.  I’ve also talked to others about what they do.  Recently, Chloe Langr interviewed Sara and I on her Letters to Women podcast.

The topic, A Letter to the Woman Navigation Social Media today, allowed me to hear what strategies both Chloe and Sara use.

Sara mentioned some of her strategies include:

• Turning off  notifications on your phone. 
• Setting alarms on your phone for “times to pray”.
• Putting social media apps inside of folders.
• Using an app that limits social media usage*

*If that last one interests you, here is an article I thought looked helpful: 7 Best Apps That Block Social Media On iPhone And Android

This episode is filled with great conversations about social media and our role as Catholics on social media.

Also, this post 3 Ways to Unplug might give you more ideas too.

3. Use social media in a way that promotes the greater good

Social media can be a good thing!  It’s fun, it keeps us connected and there is great potential to love and be a witness to our faith.  But, it’s also still very new.

Take a good look at who you are called to be on social media.

For many of us, our day to day lives for years did not have social media as a part of our daily schedule.

We can’t think back to when our parents gave us the “social media” talk.  Is that even a thing now?  I honestly don’t know.  What I do know is that tweens and teens everywhere are asking for smart phones and social media privileges.

I also know it’s stressing parents out – and rightfully so. A recent news article stated

Statistics show one out of every five teens has been contacted by a child predator online”

( Read the full article here: Dangerous Social Media Apps Kids are Using . . .)

Also check out How to Get Your Tech Loving Teen to Prayer Journal

There are concerns that it causes more anxiety and like video game addiction, it can be problematic.  And on top of all these worldly concerns, there is a matter of faith.  How does social media use effect our souls – or does it at all.
I propose that it very much impacts our souls – and like Chris Pratt once said, “You have a soul, be careful with it.”

It is our responsibility that we do so. Being aware of this led to the creation of the course: How to be a Good Catholic on Social Media

How to be a Good Catholic on Social Media 

Are you living out your Faith online?

This course is a perfect introduction to healthy, holy social media use for teens and young adults, and a much-needed reminder for people of all ages.

Learn the ins-and-outs of virtuous social media use through instructional videos and the accompanying printable workbook. Reflect on the application questions to help you put your Catholic Faith into practice online. Take this course by yourself, with a friend, or as a parent-child team to help your teen get a safe start to social media.

All materials are digital and available immediately upon purchase.

Perhaps this summer we should skip the parish book club and invite a small group to take this course together.

Maybe moms and dads who keep hearing “mom, I want my own phone.  I want snapchat.  I should be allowed on Instagram . . . etc.” could say, “okay, let’s make a deal.  You want to go on social media, you have to take this course first.”

If you want to purchase the course, use the coupon code LaunchSpecial (good until Sunday, June 16th) for 20% off.

I love that this course will most likely spark conversations that families should be having . . . but just don’t realize it.

Although it is brand new, some people were given the chance to preview it.  This is what some of them had to say about “How to be a Good Catholic on Social Media”:

Outstanding course! I feel confident my teenage son has the tools from this course to make proper decisions on social media.Sara is a very good teacher,and makes it easy to understand the lessons! Thank you Sara!

-Laura Hanrahan

What an EXCELLENT course! It really is a perfect outline for healthy, holy social media use. This course was a good refresher for me as an adult. I will definitely be coming back for this course when my children are old enough and going through it with them 

-Katherine Reay

How do you manage social media use?  What are some ways social media helps you to be a better Christian? Tell us in the comments!

And speaking of using social media . . . I would love to connect with you on Facebook (Prayer Wine Chocolate); Pinterest (Prayer Wine Chocolate) and Instagram (Prayer Wine Chocolate)

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The post Social Media and Summer: How to Not Let Your Social Media Habits Steal Your Soul, Joy and Experiences appeared first on Prayer Wine Chocolate.

This post contains affiliate links.  See more details on my About Me page.

As a teacher, I often thought about how the life of Jesus is difficult for teens to really relate to

and, as a Christian, not always easy to model behavior after.

When we look at Scripture, we see Our Lord as a 12 year old in the Temple . . . then we don’t really see Him again until the Wedding at Cana.

The years between 12 and 29 are quite a mystery.

I wondered:

“how could I help teens understand how they could be more Christlike, when they really don’t know what Christ was like as a teen?”

I remember voicing this concern out loud once.

I can’t remember to whom I voiced this concern to, although I think it might have been a priest.
I remember being given the advice to pray about it.

I’m sure I did in a very informal way.

I do believe that there is a small part of Scripture certainly that speaks volumes to teachers, parents, even to another junior high aged students themselves.

In Luke, Chapter 2, we see Jesus at age 12.

Jesus, as a 12 year old, displays characteristics that a pre-teen and young teenager have today:

• He sought independence
• He didn’t understand why He could not have the freedom He sought
• He had wisdom to share

The end of Luke, Chapter 2 is a perfect reflection for parents with teens!:

Each year his parents went to Jerusalem for the feast of Passover, and when he was twelve years old, they went up according to festival custom.  After they had completed its days, as they were returning, the boy Jesus remained behind in Jerusalem, but his parents did not know it.  Thinking that he was in the caravan, they journeyed for a day and looked for him among their relatives and acquaintances, but not finding him, they returned to Jerusalem to look for him.  After three days they found him in the temple, sitting in the midst of the teachers, listening to them and asking them questions, and all who heard him were astounded at his understanding and his answers.  When his parents saw him, they were astonished, and his mother said to him, “Son, why have you done this to us? Your father and I have been looking for you with great anxiety.”  And he said to them, “Why were you looking for me? Did you not know that I must be in my Father’s house?” But they did not understand what he said to them.  He went down with them and came to Nazareth, and was obedient to them; and his mother kept all these things in her heart.  And Jesus advanced in wisdom and age and favor before God and man.

Luke 2:41-52

I taught this age group for 14 years.

I remember starting to really “bash heads” with my parents around this age.

Even though I am not yet a parent of a teen, this little nugget of Scripture sends me lots of reassurance and hope because:

1. 1. Even Jesus asked “why” instead of saying I’m sorry.
   2. Even Our Blessed Mother and Saint Joseph didn’t understand him at times.
   3. Even Mary gave Jesus the “mom look”.  Okay, so I can not prove this. . . but -Jesus answers a question with a question, then the writer says He was obedient to them.  I’m pretty sure there was a mom look between Mary and Jesus after his “Did you not know that I must be in my Father’s house?”. This is not based on any theological knowledge . . . but, I’m just sayin’.  Probably got the mom look. She probably also had more than one glass of wine that night.
   4. Even Jesus sought independence that is meant for an older age.
   5. Even Jesus had to obey His parents.

So Mommas (and Poppas), remember:

1. When your teen “answers back”, try not to take it to personally or engage in an argument.  I know you would much rather hear, “Yes Mom” or “I’m sorry I upset you or scared you”. 

But . . . Jesus was missing for THREE DAYS!  Mary was probably on the verge of a heart attack.  Look at Jesus’ response!  The “talking back” might just be the age.  Try not to get to emotional about it.

2. When you just don’t understand your teen – whether it be what they said or what they just did – find peace in the fact that Our Lady and Saint Joseph have been there. 

It says it right there in Luke “they did not understand what he said to them”.

3. When you give that mom look and you just want your teen to know that he or she needs to obey you – perhaps bring up this post. 

Even God had to obey his parents.

4. When your teen is seeking freedom and independence that he or she is not ready for, it’s okay – and it is important- to set boundaries.

It is clear by this passage that this is not a new challenge for parents. However, the challenge has certainly escalated in recent times with the prevalence of smart phones and social media.  Study after study is revealing what our guts naturally tell us – these young men and women are not ready for all the freedom that new technology offers.  Increased loneliness, depression, abuse, and bullying are just some of the problems teens can not seem to get away from, and can be directly tied to their phones. 

*******How to Get Your Tech Loving Teen to Prayer Journal   ***** this post I wrote might help if you need some ideas . .  .

Do you have a rule or routine with smart phones and social media that works in your family?  If you do, please comment about it under this post!  I am SURE other parents need and desire ideas . . . because ultimately . .

5. A twelve year old’s (and a 13, 14, 15, 16 year old’s . . . ) duty is to obey his parents.

Jesus COULD have said, “I know I’m right, I know these men don’t know what I know . . . ” He could have said many things, but, he didn’t.  He obeyed his parents.

I realize parenting this age group has a lot of complicated moments.  But please, keep praying for your child and praying with your child!

Take time to just breathe and as Mary, Our Mother, to help you think and act calmly and lovingly.

Ask the Holy Spirit to give your child wisdom and Our Loving Father to give him or her courage and strength to listen to that wisdom.

And if you have to, remind your child that even God had to listen to His parents!

No wonder why Mary encouraged Jesus make more wine for the first miracle!  Parenting is hard!

If you have a daughter who is a young teen – or soon will be: these posts might also help:

Dear Beautiful 13 Year Old . . .

Dear Beautiful Girl Trying to Find Herself

Also, Be Yourself: A Journal for Catholic Girls might be a good tool for both you and your daughter to bond and talk about identity and one’s God given mission.

The post The Scripture Passage That Is Perfect for Moms of Teens appeared first on Prayer Wine Chocolate.

This post contains affiliate links.  Please see my About Me page for more details.

Not to long ago, Lindsay Trezza from Just Love Prints posed a question on Facebook.  She asked,

What advice would you give your middle school self? 

I thought, well, I wrote a whole book to answer that one.  But I thought, maybe I should seriously consider this question, shorten my answer from 100 pages … and give the world a peak into the Be Yourself Journal and the motivation behind it.

Being 11, 12, 13 and beyond is etched into my memory and heart in all sorts of ways.  It is and was and will always be a difficult age.  Some of us struggle more than others, but most of us do not realize how much our peers are experiencing the same growing pains.  We tend to learn years later how we had more in common with our peers than not.

But at the same time, there is a beautiful innocence at this age.  I remember the questions I had, the music and colors I was attracted to and the dreams I dreamt.  As a teacher, I truly enjoyed teaching 9th grade the best.  So much hope, purity and joy can be found in most children that age.  I have a special place for them in my heart.  The Be Yourself Journal is a gift to young girls that age.  A tool to help them see the joy and light in their own life and a manual to help them navigate their growing relationship with the Lord. Plus, there are lots of added elements that make it fun and enjoyable.

If I could speak to my middle school self, I would say:

I know you don’t think you are beautiful, but, you are beautiful.

How many times have you heard, “you look just like your mom”?  For some reason, you hate hearing it – because you don’t see it.  But the truth is, other people do see it.  And when you look at your mom, you see a beautiful woman.  You might be jealous that her teeth are straighter than yours, but please – minor detail.  You’ll get braces, chill with that.  Every woman sees flaws in themselves.  Happy women don’t focus on them. No matter how gorgeous a woman is, she loses her sight of that beauty when she begins to compare.  Models bring themselves down by comparison.  Not feeling pretty enough because of envying others will never bring joy and happiness.  Know that you are “wonderfully made” and radiate a beauty only you can radiate.

Be grateful for all the little things.

I know you wish for things and pray for things and don’t see the answers you long for, BUT -that breath you just took – that was a gift from God.  Thank Him for it. That beautiful Japanese Maple outside on your front lawn, thank God for it. When you’re walking to school and it’s not raining, that God for the nice weather and the time to just “be”.  Take those moments to truly thank God for His creation.  It doesn’t take much time to say, “Thank you God for ________”.  Give God that time and attention.  When you are grateful for the little things, joy becomes more common in life.  Breathe and thank God he gave you life. I know you think it could be better – but a grateful heart focuses on the good.  Gratitude will open the door for joy, peace and happiness.

The only thing you need to worry about is how much you are loving the people closest to you. 

You worry about a lot of things. Padre Pio, a great saint, stated simply, “Pray, hope, and don’t worry.”  The Lord wants you to love – and that simply means, be kind and patient.  Be kind and patient with your parents, your siblings, your teammates and your classmates.  Mother Teresa once said if we want to bring peace to the world, we should go home and love our families. Give compliments every day. Tell your mom what food you enjoyed at dinner and tell her she did a great job making it! Find something to praise in each of your family members daily. For now, that is your God given mission – to love the people He has placed around you. All the other things that worry you – tell Jesus in a simple prayer.  Say, “Dear Jesus I am upset and worried about ______” and then try your best to leave it in His hands.  It’s not easy, but do your best.  The Lord does not want you to occupy your mind with worries.

Speaking of loving your family, go color with your sister.

First of all, you have a sister – what a beautiful gift to be grateful for!  She is a love and she’s six – I bet she has a coloring book.  Ask her to color with you.  Spend time with her and spend time coloring.   Not only will you make your sister happy, you’ll learn to relax a little. Maybe.  Try not to abort mission when she asks you to play a board game you hate.  Remember, kind and patient – repeat that, “kind and patient”.

Don’t give up.

As your future self, I am happy to say, you do not need me to tell you this.  Your perseverance in continuing to play sports when it seemed like “it wasn’t your bag”, your constant dreaming of life getting better and the way you hold onto your faith enables you to flourish, excel and achieve great things.  You did this right.  Encourage others to do the same.

Be generous with forgiveness

People are going to hurt your feelings.  Some of those people are family members.  Others are the “popular” students in school and athletes and teammates.  Forgive them – even if they are not sorry.  There will be times in life when you won’t have to be forgiving someone new or for a new thing every single day.  Unfortunately, this time period of your life will make you feel like this is expected often.  It’s not fair, but it is what it is.  Forgiveness is not just your duty as  a Christian, it is also a gift that frees up space in your heart for more joy.  Grudges are heavy burdens- don’t carry them. Remember, Jesus forgave those who crucified Him . Ask Him for help when it is difficult. And be generous with forgiving yourself as well.

God made you on purpose and for a purpose.

You were created to fulfill a mission only you can fulfill.  Every time you trust the Lord – even when you don’t understand “why???” – you get closer to seeing it.  You have no idea right now how important, powerful and influential your example and witness to your faith is – it would blow your mind.  Trust me, your effort to do God’s will and be the best version of yourself is not in vain.

When thinking about your life and how to “be yourself” remember: everyone is called to holiness, but our roads look different. We do not all go by the same path.  We are called to love.  We are called to bring God’s peacefulness to the world.

Dream about your future with hope and keep your heart open.”

Taken from the Saint Spotlight page featuring Saint Katharine Drexel

 in the Be Yourself Journal

One day you will look back and see just how your blind obedience was the hand of God:

My Stupid Talent Was a Great Blessing

It’s okay to enjoy life!  Embrace imagination, creativity and the talent of others!

Right now you probably have a few favorite songs, a celebrity crush and some dreams and goals.  That is great!  As long as those things don’t lead you to sin, enjoy!  Smiling can be contagious, embrace the talent of others!  The people that write the songs you enjoy, the tv shows that make you laugh and the clothes that you’d love to wear are using the talents that God has given them – celebrate it with them.  There is more to life than that boy you want to have a crush on you.  There is way more to life than feeling popular.  Don’t let what you don’t have be a distraction to all that brings joy, peace and inspiration.

Need a letter for your daughter to read, consider Dear Beautiful Girl Trying to Find Herself

Not sure your daughter would journal, here’s some tips: How to Get Your Tech Loving Teen to Prayer Journal

Would you like to view the entire journal?  Check it out at Be Yourself: A Journal for Catholic Girls ( scroll down and watch the video at the bottom of the page).

Consider giving the Be Yourself Journal as an Easter gift!  Pair it with some fun and inspiring journal supplies.  These products from DaySpring are a perfect addition!

Illustrates Faith Journal Supplies from DaySpring

The post Dear Beautiful 13 Year Old Me . . . appeared first on Prayer Wine Chocolate.

This article contains affiliate links. Thank you for your support!

1. Heaven is For Real for Kids

I loved the adult version of this book!  I look forward to sharing Colton’s story with my son!

2. Caleb’s Colt

My son picked this out of his school library.  I love the angle it takes to tell the story of Palm Sunday! He couldn’t sit through the whole book, but when he walked away I finished reading it myself!

3. Paddy and the Wolves: A Story about Saint Patrick

This is a new book about Saint Patrick!  It’s about a boy that can’t sit still during prayers!  I know one of those quite well!

4.  The Little Flower: A Parable of Saint Therese’

St. Therese’, as a young girl, wants to do things her big sisters and older people do in order to show how much they love God. Therese’ wants to do lots of things, but, unfortunately, she is just “not old enough”. Most children have had this desire and because of that they will immediately connect with the story. Read more about this book here: Beautiful Little Flowers: The Little Flower Book Review

5. Dear Pope Francis: The Pope Answers Letters from Children Around the World

So cute and a great reference book!

6. Why Am I Here?

This book was written by Matthew Kelly.  Since I can’t put down his book Resisting Happiness, and can’t help but recommend a child’s book by him as well!

7. A Child’s Book of the Mass

I have just recently been introduced to the Catechisis of the Good Shepherd and I am so interested in it! I am hoping to get my son enrolled in a class around our home next year.  One of the pioneers of the Catechisis of the Good Shepherd in the Philadelphia area wrote this book!  I bought it for our son and recommend it!

8. God’s Wisdom for Little Boys:Character Building Fun from the Proverbs

I love this new book – especially since it rhymes!  There is something about books that rhyme that catch my son’s attention more and have him wanting to hear it again and again!  There is also a volume for little girls: God’s Wisdom for Little Girls!

9. The Littlest Angel

Although this is a Christmas book, it is still a great story!

10. My First Taggies Book: Thank You Prayer

Babies.love.tags.

11.  Only God Can Make a Kitten

My friend and fellow blogger, Brittany (Everyday Thoughts) recommends this book.  She reviewed it and since then has given it as gift!

12. You Are Special

I have heard that everything by the author is great!

13.  God is Good All the Time

14. God Gave Us You

15.  The Weight of a Mass: A Tale of Faith

A lovely fable recommended by a friend!

16.  How Big is God?

17.  The Clown of God

Another Christmas story, but highly recommended!

18. Pete Feet and Fish to Eat

This one was recommended by a friend and I am already loving it!

19. Hail Mary 

I love this board book!  Not only i it great for very young tots, but it is an awesome way to teach older children the Hail Mary!

20.  The Princess and the Kiss: A Story of God’s Gift of Purity

21. Saints on the Go

I keep meaning to order this for my son!

The post Prayer, Juice, and Skittles: Faith books for Littles appeared first on Prayer Wine Chocolate.

My little boy needs fine-motor skills practice.

I would love to someday be able to sit down with him and say “lets journal together” . . . and then have 15 minutes where we sit together and write in our prayer journal. I don’t know if that will ever happen . . . but we have been working on a “pre-school prayer journal” for over a week now – and it is going great!

My son asks if we can “do a project”almost daily now!

I got him to color all the fruits of the Holy Spirit today!  This is a big deal in this house since our little boy is not a huge fan of coloring!

Working on his prayer journal has become some nice one-on-one bonding time, much needed fine motor skill practice and has provided some teachable moments and faith-centered discussions!

(For example, when he was coloring “patience” and he had to be reminded to be patient!)

Here are some ideas for “Pre-school Prayer Journaling”

1. Order a Primary journal composition book.

This book provides a space to draw, paint or glue pictures and lines for your preschooler to practice writing.

2. Use Pinterest!

I have no background in early education (former high school teacher here)!  So, since my son is in desperate need of fine motor skills, I went to Pinterest for some ideas – you can follow my Preschool board here: Pre-school Activities.  My son has no interest or love for coloring – but he loves using Q-tips, taping and cutting!  So we cut out a cross and glued it to his prayer journal.  He likes to write words if I provide dots for him to trace, so under the cross we wrote, “I love you Jesus, Love Xavier”.

This coloring page is free (along with a page for each letter of the alphabet) when you subscribe to Do Small things with Love!

3. Dot Painting!

I finally found a Pinterest activity I can use my wine corks for! We found some free printables for practice – and  Xavier LOVES this activity!  He has asked to do it again already!  I love how the wine cork is small, so therefore encourages the “pincer grasp”.  We are still working on this skill – so finding an activity that he enjoys is such a gift!

4. Pick a Prayer Card!

SaongJai, one of my favorite Etsy shops, sells prayer cardsets for children!  They are adorable and once you purchase them you can print them out right away.  I loved giving Xavier the choice of which Saint he wanted to cut out and glue to his journal.  He picked out Saint Margaret and I have to admit – I had to look her up!  Once I did, I discovered that she spread the devotion to the Sacred Heart of Jesus.  Xavier traced Saint Margaret pray for us and he put heart stickers around her prayer card.

*** You can enter win an entire package from SaongJai by subscribing to prayerwinechocolate.com and sharing this post!  See more details below!

5. Practice writing with Catholic Pre-school Printables

Once again, SaongJai provides an excellent tool in teaching both how to write letters and numbers, while at the same time discussing our faith.  I love how the set uses Saint Anne for the letter A.  Xavier loves his “Gram” so it was easy to teach him “Who is Saint Anne?” Jesus’ Gram!!! SaongJai also has Alphabet flash cards that would fit in the journal – or could be laminated and used for all sorts of learning activities!

*** You can enter win an entire package from SaongJai by subscribing to prayerwinechocolate.com and sharing this post!  See more details below!

6. Color and Cut

You can find plenty of coloring pages online with Catholic and Christian themes. I found a cute “Fruits of the Spirit” packet where you can color all the fruits together (which we did) and also each fruit has it’s own half page where you can trace how to write each “fruit” (patience, love, gentleness, etc).  We plan on using more of this packet to practice drawing fruits this week!

7. Use what you have and be creative!

We had a play-doh activity book that included a scene of a road and stickers.  We glued the scene to our page and wrote “Lead me Lord” under the picture.  Then Xavier picked out stickers to put on the road and in the sky. We have some prayer books, so one activity I may try this week will use one of those.  Perhaps I will read him a prayer or short story and ask him to draw a picture.

Have a tween or teen daughter?  Get her the Be Yourself Journal!

Here’s a peak inside at some pages!

The post 7 Ways to Start a Pre-School Prayer Journal appeared first on Prayer Wine Chocolate.

I heard this question come from the back seat as I was driving this afternoon. My four-year-old, Xavier, has a lot of questions lately.  I have to admit, I often don’t have the answers.  He asks me how things are made and who made (insert random synthetic object).  But this one,  this one I thought -I kinda know this one . . . so I attempted a response.

After a litany of follow-up “why” questions to each of my answers that tried to simplify how we need water to live, I finally answered – “because that’s the way God created the world”.

Xavier then asked,

“Why did God create the world?”

“Because He loves us”, I responded.

Then, instead of asking why God loves us, or any “why”question, he asked:

Does God have a magic wand?

I was silent for almost a minute as I thought of his question.

Finally, I said, “I don’t know”.

I am pretty sure anyone who has taken a theology class might argue that I should have said no.  But, he’s four . . . and God is a mystery.

And in my life, God has done a lot of “magic”.

Recently I have been taken back with awe and gratitude with how God, who has given us free will, still seems to find a way to help us be in the right place at the right time.

If you are a parent, I am sure you vividly remember your child’s birth.  In most cases, you were there!

As an adoptive momma, my story is unique.  My son’s story is unique.  And honestly, how much I tell of it is a question to me.  Adopted children have a right to know their stories before others.  So, out of respect for my son, and his first parents, I will be leaving out many details.  However, I’d like to share a glimpse of our story with you.  Through my eyes at least, it shows how even though we have free will, we are also right where God wants us to be.

I, nor my husband, were present at our son’s birth.  Very few people knew we were “matched” (in the adoption world matched is the equivalent to “expecting”).  We had kept it a secret because in the 3 months before we had been “matched”three other times and those situations were just not meant to be.  Getting excited, telling people, then plans change, your heart hurts . . . and you have to tell people . . . That gets exhausting.  So this one- this one we kept a secret.

Our son’s first parents chose us and we met.  But anyone who has experienced adoption knows, the adoption placement decision does not come easily or lightly.  We were told what hospital our son’s biological mother had planned to deliver . . . and what hospital was the back up plan if they felt they needed to get to one quickly.

The night our son was born, he was not born in either of those mentioned hospitals.  We found out days later; and eventually were told that the biological parents changed their minds about adoption.

My husband and I wept.  This was the fourth time this had happened to us, but this was the first time we cried in each other’s arms about it.  We were confused.  We really thought this child was meant to be our child.  But adoption is unique, and this is part of the expectation on the journey.

Then, in an unexpected chain of events – we were called almost three weeks later.  Our son’s first parents changed their minds again, and wanted to know if we were still interested in adopting their baby.  The adoption agency told us the baby was “very sick” but because of privacy laws, they couldn’t tell us anything else.  We had to base our decision on faith.

I wanted to say yes without even talking to my husband. . . but I knew that’s not how it works.  My husband was scared.  He was afraid of “losing him again”.  He didn’t think his heart could handle it if the baby’s sickness was fatal.

Then, like a light bulb turning on above my head, I remembered that the one NICU nurse I know, works at the hospital this baby was born.  I had not really talked to her in over a decade, but through Facebook we had reconnected.  I sent her an inbox asking her if she could send me her phone number.  I gave her mine.

She called me and I said, I know the chances are slim . . . but . .. and I went on the explain our situation, and asked her if she had any idea what baby I was talking about.  It had been almost 3 weeks . . .

My friend paused, and then said, “I know exactly who you are talking about, I admitted him.”  She then went on about his health, but also about what a sweet baby boy he was and how we would make the greatest parents for him.  She couldn’t promise a clean bill of health, but her love for this baby compelled her to encourage us to love him too.

In the whole world I knew one NICU nurse . . . a friend from my childhood . . . and a former classmate of my husband’s.

We couldn’t be there to hold our son the night he was born . . . so God guided some guardian angels and made sure someone who knew us was there holding him.

That’s God’s Magic.

So, I guess the next time Xavier asks if God has a magic wand, I might just say no, but He does have a magic heart.  “Magic” because His heart loves in way we can not fully comprehend or understand.  “Magic” in the sense it causes us to stand back in awe.

Our son’s birthmother chose to go to a hospital that had not even been mentioned as a back up birth place.  The doctors she had been seeing through the agency – who had been taking her to appointments – were not affiliated with the hospital in which she gave birth.

Our old friend was working that night, and our son’s birth led him to need placement in the NICU. She was there to hold him and care for him when I wasn’t.  She was able to tell me about the night my son was born.

We have all the hospital documents from that night . . . but what a wonderful gift it is to have someone we know tell us how she cared for him on the date of his birth.

What a gift . . . God’s “magic”.

The post Does God Have a Magic Wand? appeared first on Prayer Wine Chocolate.

Before I became a mother and before I became a blogger . . . I was a teacher.  I was a classroom teacher for 14 years.  Before that I worked as a camp counselor for young teens and even revamped a leadership camp at the local YMCA.  I also coached high school cross country and track.  My passion before writing was working with the youth – most especially, young teenagers.

Before I start spouting off my recommendations to parents with teens, I wanted you to know that my observations are as a teacher and coach.  I am not a mother of a teen.  My son is 4, and he is my only child.  With that being said, I know I can not fully put myself in your shoes and I realize I may not know what it’s really like having a teenage child.  However, I do know what I have observed as a teacher and coach.  I can tell you that the “secrets” I am revealing in this article come from the conversations I had with parents about their struggling child’s progress in my history, psychology or criminal justice classes.  Almost every time I met with a student who was struggling in my class I could predict why.  The student was doing homework in his or her bedroom, or telling mom and dad they had no homework.  The student could have taken better notes in class, and I could go on.  The “secrets” I reveal below are the “secrets” I shared with parents when we met at a parent teacher conference.

Secrets Your High School Student Doesn’t Want You to Know

Written by Amy Brooks: PA Certified Social Studies Teacher Grades 7-12, MA in History

Not all assignments involve being on the computer, iPad, etc.

Often when I met with parents at conferences they would ask me how their child could increase test and quiz scores. I always recommended using {affiliate link} flash cards. Old fashioned index cards where the student writes an important person or term on one side and a description on another. I would also recommend that a parent or older sibling help quiz the student before they end the study session. Often, parents will see that some descriptions do not make sense (that the student wrote) and therefore are not studying the correct information. This can be rectified before it’s to late!

Old Fashioned Index Cards Work Great!

The Dining Room Table is a better homework setting than the bedroom.

Over and over again when I met with parents of struggling students I would ask, “where does he do his homework?” The answer was “in his room” 99% of the time. MAKE THE DINING ROOM TABLE THE HOMEWORK SPOT. The family distractions are not as detrimental as the ones behind the closed bedroom door.

She didn’t really finish her homework in school (and she does actually have homework)

I could not believe how many students I would observe in study hall not studying. I cannot tell you how many times I asked “don’t you have any work to do?” And heard “I’m done”. Meanwhile there is a student who has straight A’s across the room with three books on the desk writing diligently. There is always something to work on or study – even if nothing is due the next day. Encourage doing some kind of visible homework each night.

Teachers still give notes the old-fashioned way.

It is true that technology has entered the classroom in incredible ways. However, teachers still give notes and require students to take them in a notebook with a pen or pencil. Students still take pen and paper quizzes and tests. You should be able to ask your son or daughter to see his or her notes and see pages of handwritten information. Many teachers prefer this method over newer forms of note-taking. Many teachers that are in the classrooms went to college before Google. Some of them even wrote term papers with a typewriter. All generations of teachers are still in the classroom. Expect to see the good ‘ol marble and spiral notebooks for each subject every year. This is the norm not the exception.

Many students are underprepared in class 

And I’m not talking about skill level – I mean they don’t have a writing utensil with them. And this is not because they can’t afford one. Most likely they borrowed one in the last class they were in and somehow a walk to the next class made it go missing. Even though parents tell me they have a closet full of folders, notebooks, pens and pencils – somehow none of these things get into the classroom. Make sure your child is a prepared student so that each class starts off on the right foot. I always told my students to walk into a class as if they are walking into a job interview. Tuck in you shirt, look and be prepared and respectful. This is practice for life. We (your teachers and parents) want you to win and be successful!

Students DO NOT get enough sleep.

I would over hear often how students were texting and on social media in the middle of the night.  I am talking 1:00 am to 4:00 am.  I highly recommend your child does not bring his or her phone into the bedroom past a certain hour.  Having a time to turn it in and a place to put it that you can see is a good idea.  Let them make you the bad guy – deep down they are thanking you for it.  Way, way, way deep down, but still!

All teens want to succeed.

I can’t tell you how many times I sat with a parent or parents and a student and the parent said to his or her child, “Just get a 70!” I cringed.  I know it must be frustrating, but please don’t tell your child to “just pass”.  They long for success and getting a good grade really does make them feel like a million bucks.  I can assure you, grading is very different then it was years ago.  Most teachers base report card grades on many other things besides test scores.  If your child does not test well, but does his or her homework, hands work in on time; participates in class and truly shows an effort – their report card grade will be much higher than their test average.  Success is available to them, encourage it!

Do you have advice for “first-time” high-school parents?  Please share by commenting below!!

The post How Keeping it “Old School” May Help Your High School Student Succeed appeared first on Prayer Wine Chocolate.

As a woman who became a mom “later in life” and who spent her career educating teenagers, I often feel like a fish out of water with my young son.  There is so much I don’t know about early childhood. I want to make sure I am giving him all the opportunities he needs to grow and develop in the healthiest ways. This ebook helped calm my anxiety. KIDFUN reassured me that there are plenty of things to do – and that most of them are super easy to set up and initiate!  I love easy!

My son, his friend Jared, and I had a great time trying out some of Sharla’s suggestions. Reading through the book I was reminded of how simple childhood can be – and how much joy can come from the simplest objects.  Here is a glimpse of Sharla’s book!

5 Games to Play to Play with a Bucket or a Ball!

1.  Water play!

Sharla gives lots of fun ideas on how to simply use a bucket of water to keep a child entertained as well as teach them a chore and life lessons.  Some of the activities require some soap too!  My son loves to play with his water table, but adding a bucket and some other containers created a new spark in his eye and lots of new ways to enjoy the water and the sunny day!

2.  Wash away!

Sharla helped me realize that my son always wanting to “wash dishes” is a great motivator for him to use soapy water for play.  This is great because it helps me have some quiet during the day and it also gives my son an opportunity to play and feel important.  KIDFUN reminds parents that washing toys with a sponge and soapy water can teach children to take care of their belongings and, honesty, they enjoy doing it!  You can also have them take their buckets and sponges over to the car and clean that too!  Fun in the sun, plus some chores done!  Win/win!

3.  Wet Blanket

This is something I have never heard or thought of . . . pour that bucket out on a beach towel or an old sheet.  Now, let your child drape it over himself or lay on it.  What a neat way to cool down!  So simple – never thought of it!

4.  Treasure Hunt

We actually put a spin on this game.  I hid all animal toys and gave each boy a bucket.  I told them the animals wanted to play hide and seek with them.  They loved it – and I would have NEVER thought of it without the help of Sharla’s book!

5.  Sharp Shooter

This game was AWESOME!  We got a ball and set up toy “bricks”.  I put a towel down and told the boys they couldn’t pass the towel.  They threw the ball at the tower and – when they hit it- knocked the tower down!  How much do boys love knocking things down?! Another part of the game was to re-build the tower so they could go again.  This game taught the boys patience, following rules, cooperation and sportsmanship.  Once again, I needed Sharla’s book to give me the idea and spark my enthusiasm!  I’m actually excited to play this again!

Not only does KIDFUN give outdoor play ideas, it is loaded with ideas for all situations – in the car, in a waiting room, on a rainy day, etc. I absolutely love how it reminds me that an iPad or the television are not the only alternative! If you would like to purchase Sharla’s ebook, and get 355 more ideas for fun with the kids this summer, please use my affiliate link below!  It’s only $5.99 – totally worth it!  Happy Summer!

KIDFUN: 400 Fun and Easy Ideas for Kids Ages 2 to 8

The post A Book, a Bucket, and A Ball: All I needed to get Summer Rolling! appeared first on Prayer Wine Chocolate.

“I need help with this one.”

Talking to a three-year-old about Jesus’ death and Resurrection is a challenge to say the least.

I found myself talking much more about the Easter Bunny than Jesus.

And wow . . . that was not what I pictured myself doing before I was a parent.

Meanwhile I am finding myself researching The Works of Mercy.  In my search I found The Happy Saints eBook: Works of Mercy.  I wrote to Happy Saints and asked them if I could review the book.  They sent me a copy in exchange for this review.  All opinions are my own. 

I absolutely love the first line of the book is from Scripture; specifically Matthew 25:40.

“The King will answer them ‘Most certainly I tell you, inasmuch as you did it to one of the least of my brothers, you didi it to me”.

This is definitely a teaching I can embrace, discuss and promote with my 3 year old or a child of any age. In fact, it’s a topic I can easily discuss with an adult.

The next line in the book translates that verse into an easy way for a child to “get it”.

“Jesus is close to those who suffer.  He is so close to them that He consoles our acts of kindness that are done for them as if they were done for Him.”

There it is – the word suffer.  My gateway to Good Friday and its meaning – in a way a child can comprehend.

• Children will tell you how they got that boo boo
• Children know what it is like to have their feelings hurt
• Children know how they desire to be comforted when they are hurt (or suffering).

It amazes me how much my son mirrors my actions when the tables are turned and I am the one who is sick.  He totally gets it.  He rubs my back.  He “checks on me”.  He tells me he loves me.  He gets it.  If a three year old can reflect on that, how much more can an older child grasp helping those who suffer.

Since I only have a three year old, I printed out some of the Black and White Posters included in the book and headed up the street to my neighbors’ house.  The family has a nine year old boy and a 6 year old girl.

The six year old, with her face painted like a kitten, enthusiastically started to color her saint poster. The nine year old, super cool for school boy, had to be told to start coloring, but jumped right into the task.

After they colored their masterpieces, their mother had her son read his paper out loud. He had lots of pride as he read at least one big word.  Then the mother read the poster that discussed “Bearing Wrongs Patiently”.  I could hear her emphasis on almost every word. Apparently, the two siblings have been bickering lately and this was the perfect message from above that was desperately needed. I actually chuckled as I heard her reading it – then stopping and explaining how it relates to picking on your little sister!

The ebook contains more than just coloring posters.  There are posters provided which are already colored (which will help in discussing what colors nuns wear and how people in the middle ages did not have green hair).

The book contains holy cards (in color) which can be printed out.  I love these holy cards because the art and the text are written for children.  They could also be used for any young person’s prayer journal. The prayer cards come in two different sizes which is a neat way to give your child some freedom to pick what they feel suits them best.

The eBook also contains printable greeting cards.  These could come in handy for some extension activities, and really come in handy when a child’s friend of loved one loses a family member.

The eBook also includes badges – both colored and black and white for more coloring.  What a great way to motivate your child to act out each Work of Mercy.

If you are interested in purchasing Happy Saints Works of Mercy or other Christian ebooks click here:

Happy Saints Works of Mercy

Enjoy your spiritual journey to our Lord with your child!

The post Happy Saints Works of Mercy eBook Review appeared first on Prayer Wine Chocolate.

As a young school student, maybe around the age of 11, I often wondered what I was supposed to think about when I prayed. I thought of asking a priest if I should picture the words of the prayers, as if I was imagining them written across a chalkboard . . . or, should I be thinking of something else? Jesus’ face perhaps?

What strikes me about this memory the most are not the questions I had, but the fact that I did not think of asking my parents those questions.  My faith is the greatest gift my parents gave me.  They taught me to pray before meals, before I went to sleep at night, to go to Mass every Sunday, to pray the Rosary, participate in the Sacraments, and so on.  Yet, I did not think of asking them how to pray.  Perhaps if I saw a book laying around called “77 Ways to Pray with Your Kids“, it would have hit me – hey, ask mom or dad, she (or he) bought that book!  Maybe.

Praying with a 3 year old

At this point in my life, I a am still in motherhood bootcamp.  My oldest and only (so far) is a very active 3 year old.  He is starting to say the prayers he hears my husband and I pray, but I use the term “say” loosely.  When he prays “Bless Us, O Lord” or the “Our Father” I think we can identify about five English (or any human language) words.  In short, he has absolutely no idea what he is saying.

How 77 Ways to Pray helps 

By page 19 of “77 Ways to Pray . . .” the author, Jerry Windley-Daoust, had both assured me that I was doing some things right and gave me a handful of ideas that would help me work with the Holy Spirit and guide my son to a closer relationship with Jesus. Windley-Daoust also provides awesome ideas including craft or craft-like projects (table triangles, placemats, paper prayer chains and thanksgiving murals to name a few) and really provides approaches for all age groups and attention spans.  The book focuses on three main age groups (3+, 7+ and 13+) but also includes baby prayers and really enriches the reader as well.  When I almost drew pictures of hearts on the page that collaborated prayer and chore time, I knew he had walked a mile in my shoes.  As a stay-at-home parent, the author experienced the old adage “necessity is the mother of invention” and came up with many ways to truly be his children’s first teacher. The brevity of the book makes it easy to use as a reference, but also recommends other works to refer to on the journey to nourish your child’s soul.

As a practicing Catholic I found the book to even provide a few new lessons on my own spiritual journey.  Even though I was educated in Catholic schools from first grade to graduate school, I had never heard the term Lectio Divina and was compelled to look it up.  I was also extremely impressed with how rooted in Scripture so many activities were.  I found myself visualizing ways to incorporate short prayers found in the Bible to connect with a teenager.  For example, as a runner, I know a cross country race is extremely nerve wracking.  How awesome would it be to find “I can do all things through him who strengthens me” Philippians 4:13 left by your mom or dad in your lunch or sports bag before a meet.  My point is, the book not only offers great ideas, but also stimulates more ideas in the reader.

Although the work gives great advice for any Christian family to use, the work stresses the importance of the Sacraments and the challenges that come along with them.  Although I am sure many Christian families have to find a way to reach the teen that no longer wants to go to church on Sunday, Catholics have the added challenge of, “why can’t I just ask God for forgiveness directly”.  77 Ways gives suggestions on how to deal with these unique, but common, questions.

There are also small pieces of advice that I absolutely love in this book.  For example, “walk to Mass”.  I remember complaining when we walked as a family growing up.  But, how much does a walk calm a soul – or allow a little one to burn off energy?  It’s meditative.  Another reminder that Eucharistic adoration is better to attend for ten minutes than no minutes at all.  From “God’s mailbox” to a prayer journal, having this book is just one tool that will help parents who truly desire to nurture the souls in which God has entrusted them.

Now that I have read the book . . .

I’m excited to make a visit to adoration today (although it will only be 10 minutes), look into the prayer apps that “77 Ways to Pray . . .” recommends, and really start considering the prayer rug suggestion for my “constant ants-in-pants” son!  Having this book as a reference will really help our family through the years.

 If you are interested in learning more about how to purchase 77 Ways to Pray with Your Kids, Click here: 77 WAYS TO PRAY WITH YOUR KIDS

How do you pray with your children?  Are there any activities that really excite your children and refresh your prayer life?  Please share!!

The post 77 Ways to Pray with Your Kids (Book Review) appeared first on Prayer Wine Chocolate.