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Oct 25, 2017
Faith

Innocent Wisdom: 3 Marital Lessons I Learned from My Son

Innocent Wisdom- 3 Marital Lessons I Learned from My Son
Photo credit: Picture taken by Kellyanne Adams Photography

This article contains affiliate links.

They say “to know someone is to love them”.

If this is true, which I believe it is, there are not many people in this world that love me better or more than my five-year-old son, Xavier.

Xavier5years.jpg
Photo credit: Kellyanne Adams Photography

His innocence allows him to love me without boundaries or exceptions.

He is honest, open and forgiving.  He is also wise beyond his years.

One day I was talking to my husband in my all to often used “frustrated voice” and Xavier turned to me and stated very firmly:

“Never be mad at Daddy.”

I thought, “that is very good advice” and I recalled Scripture

Love is patient. Love is kind . . . it is not easily angered . . .”

from 1 Corinthians 13:4-7

Confession:  I tend to get easily frustrated. I’m petulant.

My son totally called me out on it.

Noted. Working on it.

Not many days later I was in the kitchen with my son

and my husband was outside.  I might have called to him or said something that Xavier could hear.  I don’t remember what I said or what it was about.

What I do reacall is Xavier saying to me – very slowly and clearly –

“You need to be PATIENT.”

If you know my son, you know very well that he rarely speaks slowly or clearly.

I need to practice patience.  Got it. Noted.

The last piece of advice my 5-year-old gave me was not through his words, but through his example.

One night our recyclable container was on the curb waiting for the next day’s pick up.  An empty gallon of milk was in our kitchen, and Xavier really wanted to be the one to place it in the recycle bin.  I pointed out that he would have to walk to the curb – the bin wasn’t in it’s usual place (which is right outside the kitchen door).

This news did not bother him at all.  In fact, it excited him!  He begged and pleaded, “Can I please bring it to the curb????”  Can I please go put it in the bin?”

I said yes.

You would have thought I gave the kid a million dollars.

He jumped for joy that he could throw out the milk container.  He smiled from ear to ear that he could walk all the way to the curb and place that container in the blue bin.  He ran to do what I probably would have complained about – or not done at all; and he ran to do it with total joy!

His advice, from his actions and example, was to:

“Serve with JOY.”

What a reminder.  How often do I moan and groan about doing a simple act of charity.  How many times could I just put his shoes away and say nothing – rather than complain that once again, he didn’t put them away.

This advice hit me like a truck.  This advice had gone into my selective memory loss bank until I finally sat down to write this article.

Serve. Serve daily. Serve over and over and over again.  And serve with joy.

Love and do not count the cost, but be grateful for the person you have the honor of loving.

I need to post this on my mirror and in my car.

Stop getting mad.

Be Patient.

Serve Joyfully.

Marriage advice from Xavier, 5 years old

STOP GETTING MAD: Don’t waste time on anger – it steals happy memories!

Don'twastetimewithanger
Ginny and family from Not so Formulaic

BE PATIENT!

BEPATIENT.jpg
BE PATIENT: “I learned to fly fish because he was interested in it. After 29 years of marriage, I wanted to make sure we were learning new things and finding things to do together. He was thrilled and I was surprised that I loved it. ” Michelle, married 29 years. Learn more about Michelle at Give Him 5

SERVE JOYFULLY!

PILARLOPEZSERVEJOYFULLY.jpg

So whether you have been married a few weeks or a few decades, here is the wise advice from an innocent boy:

Stop getting mad.Be Patient.Serve Joyfully..png

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Reader Interactions

Comments

  1. Alicia Potvin says

    October 26, 2017 at 7:16 am

    You know it doesn’t matter how long one is married, those are great rules to live by, thank your little man for helping a lady that just turned 60.

    • Amy says

      October 26, 2017 at 10:09 am

      Awww – such sweet words Alicia! I will tell him! And happy birthday!! My sister’s name is Alicia and her birthday was yesterday!

  2. Michelle says

    October 26, 2017 at 5:13 pm

    What a beautiful post! Your son is such a little sweetheart. He has great insight! I especially love the line, “be grateful for the person you have the honor of loving.” It is a wonderful reminder not only to serve with love but it is also a beautiful testimony that our attitude is everything. May the Lord bless you and your husband with MANY years together, Amy. I know He is working powerfully in your life.

    • Amy says

      October 26, 2017 at 8:26 pm

      Thank you soooo much Michelle!

  3. Anni H. says

    October 30, 2017 at 10:27 am

    My spiritual director has pointed out when my son has said similar things, it is God using my son to talk to me. Your pieces of wisdom from your son gave me goosebumps because it is clear God is reminding you – the EXACT same way God reminds me!

    Beautiful words of wisdom – not just for marriages, but for any interaction in our lives, whether it is marriage, parenting, or the person in the grocery store!

    • Amy says

      October 30, 2017 at 11:24 am

      Thank you so much Anni!!!!

  4. Monica @ Equipping Catholic Families says

    October 30, 2017 at 10:59 am

    Wow, I’m wondering how many things I’ve missed learning from my kids lately. Great advice!

  5. Ginny says

    October 30, 2017 at 1:59 pm

    He is the cutest – and so wise! You are blessed, my friend.

    • Amy says

      October 30, 2017 at 2:47 pm

      Thanks Ginny! I’m smiling over here because I agree, he is so cute and I am so blessed <3

  6. Amy says

    November 3, 2017 at 9:17 pm

    Our kids are so often our greatest teachers. Loved the post and your son’s wise words! 🙂

    • Amy says

      November 5, 2017 at 5:50 am

      Thank you Amy!!

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