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My husband and I were in counseling our first year of marriage.
Don’t worry, our 15 year anniversary is less than 6 months away.
But for us, marriage hasn’t been easy.
That doesn’t mean it hasn’t been an incredible blessing. We just came to the Sacrament with a ton of baggage.
In fact, our wedding song was “God Blessed the Broken Road”.
But, why go to Saint Joseph for marriage help?
Saint Joseph is often known as “Saint Joseph the Worker”.
Men feel strongly about their role as a provider. Even men who’s wives work full-time and even men who’s wives make more money than they do. Work is something most men use to describe their identity.
Saint Joseph is the patron saint of workers.
When Matt and I were first married, Matt worked as a retail manager. It was not what he went to school for; but he took the job because he wanted to be a good provider. I could see how unhappy and stressful his job made him. His job sent him into a depression, and his work was so stressful, he also went into the hospital. He spent about a week in the ICU. We had only been married about a year. “In sickness . . .” came a lot quicker than I had ever imagined.
During our counseling sessions, we spoke about a lot of things that we were struggling with and our counselor made some suggestions to help us work through them.
But he (our therapist was a man) must have started to see and hear a pattern. Matt’s job and work must have been coming up a lot. The therapist finally suggested that Matt look for a different job. It was clear that this was a huge stressor – both on Matt and on our marriage.
One thing I have learned in the past 15 years – through my own relationship and watching the marriages of friends – is the work and the job of a husband is so important and influential in his life.
If a husband is unhappy at his job or with his career, that will negatively impact his home life.
I’ve seen it. It can lead to marriages ending completely.
If you’re marriage is stressed, I suggest you and your spouse take a look at your husband’s professional life. My gut feeling and experience tells me, it’s more important for a man to be happy at his job than it is for a woman.
I don’t have any degrees that can back up that last statement. But sometimes, our gut can tell us something a lifelong education can not.
I didn’t realize it at first, but what led him to take the job was the desire to be a good provider for me and our future children. Once I realized how much he disliked his work and we both became aware that it was affecting his physical and mental health, I suggested a change.
Matt’s reaction was not uncommon or odd… he simply said, “we can’t afford it.”
But let me play the devil’s advocate here: is it worth losing your marriage or potential happiness in family life over a job?
Now our situation was unique in quite a few ways.
We didn’t have children and I did have a job
I wasn’t suggesting he quit his job without another one lined up. Matt felt that he could get another job, it would just pay significantly less than what he was making at the time.
But what I – actually what Matt and I both believe, is that what I did next was what saved him and us.
I prayed a novena to Saint Joseph.
Now why do I think this prayer actually helped us?
I’d love to share that story with you!
I prayed this novena prayer with this intention:
I asked Saint Joseph to pray with me for Matt… that he would have a job he enjoyed doing and felt that he made a difference doing it.
And then, all of a sudden . . .
the school I taught in needed an IT guy.
I gave Matt’s resume to the President of the School. The President looked at it and looked at me and said… he’s way over qualified.
I explained how my husband desired to work in this field… and he’s been out of it for years. This would help him get back into the tech world and not look or be behind.
But…Matt didn’t just have to impress the school President.
Whoever got the job was going to have to work with the nun who ran the computer lab.
She was an SSJ.
That is, a Sister of Saint Joseph.
And not everyone got along swimmingly with her.
This nun and I did get along well. But it’s funny, that wasn’t the case for many of the teachers in the school.
She was, how do I describe this . . .”old school”?
Rigid, didn’t have a bubbly personality and honestly, I don’t know.
What I did know was that I could sign up to bring my 5 classes of freshmen to her computer lab almost any time because other teachers were not flocking to go there.
I also knew that in the 4 years I worked at the school, there had been at least two IT/computer support people who had worked there and left the job, and for the year before Matt applied, we only had Sister as our tech “go-to” person.
So Matt has his interview where he talked to all the school President and the Tech Coordinator of the Office of Catholic Education – basically all the people in the school district that are in charge of hiring IT professionals.
And… he met Sister.
And Sister LOVED Matt.
She loved him the day she met him.
She loved him every day he worked with her.
And when he left for another job, well that really made her sad… because honestly, she loved him.
That job got Matt back in the industry and gave him the experience and confidence he needed to move on and up in the field.
I am so grateful for Saint Joseph’s intercession.
And as an added wink and a smile, Saint Joseph passed on to Matt his love of woodworking.
Woodworking has become Matt’s favorite hobby!
My husband still works in the IT field. He is supporting our family with a job he loves. And our oldest son’s middle name is Joseph.
Saint Joseph, pray for us!
How can Saint Joseph help a marriage if the problem is not stemming from employment?
One of Saint Joseph’s titles is the Pillar of Family Life. He wants to pray for you, take him up on the offer.
So, even if you’re marriage is on the rocks because of situations that are not at all work related, I strongly suggest praying this novena!
One of Saint Joseph’s titles is the Pillar of Family Life. He wants to pray for you, take him up on the offer.
Saint Joseph’s titles include many that reflect how much he is a great intercessor for marriage.
Saint Joseph’s titles, in addition to “the Worker” and “Pillar of Families” also include:
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Mirror of Patience
Glory of Home Life
and
Terror of Demons.
Marriage requires a ton of patience. The mood of our home life is a reflection of the state or our marriage.
And friends, we all have demons we are battling.
Why not call in for back up?
Go to Joseph. He will help.
Want to read more about Saints and Marriage? Check out Ten Years of Marriage and the Saints that Helped Us Get Here
Want to read more about Saint Joseph? Read 5 Ways Saint Joseph Can Help You Live a Better Life
